Hello, and welcome back to The Trash Report! I'm Elinor Jones, writing this on a Sunday afternoon with a margarita in my hand and no fucks to give. Will the column be worse than usual? I don't know that, but I do know that I was absolutely blotto on Vitamin D while I wrote it. I hope every last one of you also enjoyed the first of the three weekends of Portland spring when you think that this will be the year that you get good at gardening.Â
Now, onto the gossip!
1989 > 2024
The conversation about whether Taylor Swift will endorse Joe Biden has dimmed somewhat in recent days, but disgraced former New York congressman George Santos wouldn't let that messy fire go out. On Saturday he tweeted the following:Â
I see @taylorswift13 endorsing @JoeBiden for president. I mean I see how this makes sense since 95% of her songs are about choosing the wrong guy.
â George Santos (@MrSantosNY) March 16, 2024
I guess we can all expect a Taylor Swift revenge song on Biden in 2025âŚ
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This is a cheap grab at headlines which shows a fundamental misunderstanding of Swift's songwriting. In this column, I will (loud chainsaw sounds cut with music box melodies cut with growling tigers cut with an a capella children's chorus singing a funeral song slowly and offkey) which proves that Swift's lyricism is not inherently that of a scorned lover, and why "invisible string" off folklore is a clear analogy for her cautious yet overtly leftist public political stances. Thank you. *accepts PhD.*
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