Savage Love Today 10:26 AM

SAVAGE LOVE: Mommy Issues

"My 13-year-old son is involved in an online Dom/sub relationship. Ummmm... HELP!!"

I’m an intelligent, open-minded mom of a 13-year-old boy. Recently, I’ve found out that my son entered into an online Dom/sub relationship where he asked his “Mistress” to give him degrading tasks like consuming his own semen. Of course, his “Mistress” asked him to “prove his loyalty” by providing her with money in the form of gift cards. This is how I found out about this relationship. My Amazon account was suddenly filled with gift card purchases for this person signed from “Your Slave.” I immediately contacted this “Mistress” and advised her that she was engaged in an inappropriate relationship with an eighth grader. This kid hasn’t even had his first kiss, Dan, let alone a physical relationship with anyone. I don’t want to shame his kinks, but I’m also very concerned that this is far too advanced for a kid his age to even understand. Over the years, he’s had a fixation with women’s feet and giant women stomping on small figures (all of this in anime/manga). Again, I really want him to grow up with healthy attitudes towards sex — but this is parenting at a whole new level. Is it possible for me to dial back this very adult behavior? I’m overwhelmed already and puberty has just begun!

Mostly Understanding Mom

Oh, momma. You are in for an exhausting five years.

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The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support!

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Look out, everybody! IT IS ELECTION DAY! 🤯😲🙀 But before you fly into a full-blown panic, please do not forget that the Mercury is right by your side with our excellent and trustworthy endorsements, and (for those in a hurry... you know, like YOU) our handy-dandy Voter Cheat Sheet! Seriously though, even if you're busy today, remember to vote (there's a ballot drop off location near you)... because there's a creepy conservative wave trying to horn in on a lot of races, and you'll be dealing with the fallout for YEARS. So do the right thing, American, and VOTE. Now let's elect some of the day's most interesting NEWS.


• In election news, have you received a billion bullshit mailers this past week from the mysterious (and out-of-state) Voters for Responsive Government group, featuring ridiculous lies about 3rd congressional district candidate Susheela Jayapal? Welp, yesterday was the day they were supposed to reveal the names of the donors from their required federal filing disclosure, and when they did, the form was... BLANK? Turns out, in order to skirt revealing the names of their creepy donors, they waited until May to pump $3.25 million into the anti-Jayapal smear campaign, so they could continue to hide their benefactors until after election day. 😡 (I bet you know how to respond... VOTE SUSHEELA JAYAPAL!)

• Another great reason to vote today? Voter turnout in the tri-county area is at this point VERY LOW, in that only 20 percent of registered voters have turned in their ballots as of yesterday. You don't want the wrong people representing you, right? So get those ballots in before 8 pm tonight! (Again with the drop off locations.) And don't forget to join the Mercury's Election Strike Force tonight starting at 7 pm as we report the latest election results, and sample allllll the snacks at the candidate parties! PLEASE & THANK YOU!

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EverOut Yesterday 11:02 AM

The Top 39 Events in Portland This Week: May 20–27, 2024

Portland Rose Festival, Kathleen Hanna, and More Top Picks

We're supplying our top picks all the way through to Memorial Day, so read on for details on events from the Portland Rose Festival to the 3rd Annual Holi Spring Harvest Fest featuring DJ Anjali & The Incredible Kid and from Kathleen Hanna: Rebel Girl: My Life as a Feminist Punk to Miranda July.



Kye Alive's genre-fluid performance party pulls inspiration from JVL@b, a performance incubator they once ran in NYC. The multidisciplinary shindig promises musical acts, dance performances, interviews, and live experiments every month. A variety show format means artists can experiment and cross-pollinate, leading to brand-new shit that hasn't even been imagined yet. Groovy! This month's lineup includes sounds by Nataani, Wing Vilma, and DJ Dissolve, "funstep" by Special Permission, hand-dyed techno t-shirts, and more. LINDSAY COSTELLO
(Kelly's Olympian, Downtown)

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Hellooooo! Welcome back to The Trash Report. I'm the Flonase-filled body balloon formerly known as Elinor Jones. Did you all know that climate change is making our seasonal allergies worse? This is extremely unfair! I feel like there should be some sort of silver lining to the planet's rapid descent into uninhabitability. Like okay, what if storms are more dangerous, but no more mosquitoes? Or hotter summers, but somehow the heat makes all of our hair look better instead of worse? But no. We will be sneezing with itchy eyes while it's 125 degrees out, because it is what we deserve. Like how all the bees were dying and it was such a problem, so we humans did something and then the bees came back and we were like "yay! Okay, let's move on," but then there were TOO MANY bees? We wrecked the climate, and now the climate will wreck us.

Oh wow, I need to make some jokes! Let's find some news and gossip to laugh at. 

Crunchwrap Supreme > Court

Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito is in some shit because word got out that his house was flying an upside-down American flag—a symbol taken over by Trump supporters following his 2020 defeat—in the days before Biden's inauguration. Many have said that Alito could not be impartial in upcoming cases involving Trump and the 2020 election and therefore should recuse himself. Yeah! Sure! People on the Supreme Court should do a lot of things! Clarence Thomas should stop accepting bribes. Brett Kavanaugh should have stepped down from the nomination process when he was credibly accused of sexual assault. All of them should be wearing those fancy little collars like RBG used to wear. Alas, you cannot judge a judge. It's like trying to google "google." Doesn't work.

Speaking of gross old men, the grossest of them all, Rudy Giuliani, had somehow for days evaded Arizona officials trying to serve him an indictment for his 2020 election crimes. Sorry, alleged crimes (but like... c'mon). This is shocking to me! I could use a lot of words to describe Rudy Giuliani, but "indiscreet" and "stealthy" are definitely not among them. I feel like one could locate Rudy Giuliani using whatever magic makes a cartoon mouse float towards cheese, but the wafting odor is a mix of cigars, cologne, denture cream, and farts. Alas, the man was found, and at his own 80th birthday party. Imagine being the kind of adult who is so into having birthday parties that you have one even when you are literally in hiding? Ahead of the "hey-I'm-right-here!" celebration, Giuliani shared an absolutely psychotic Amazon wish list of the stuff he wanted, which included cologne (knew it!) as well as a chair, a document scanner, and "stain blocking ceiling paint." That Giuliani worries about his ceiling getting dirty really captures the explosive gooeyness of this chapter in his life. Anyway, happy birthday, Rudy Giuliani. You're gross, but very funny. 

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The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support!

GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! If you're a real Mercuryhead, you might be pretty confused right now. Me, writing the MONDAY morning "Good Morning News" post? I understand if you're shocked, confused, and horrified. But we like to keep things interesting over here. 

Anyway, the weather is set to be pretty nice today (70 degrees!) but we're on for some rain throughout the week. And right now, YOU'RE on for some very interesting news...if you keep reading this article.

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GOOD MORNING, SUNDAY! It's the perfect time to catch up on some of the great reporting and stories the Mercury churned out this week! (PRO TIP: If you despise being "the last to know," then be one of the first to know by signing up for Mercury newsletters! All the latest stories shipped directly to your email's in-box... and then... YOUR HEAD.)

County Commissioner Candidate Saw More Than $40K Funneled to Her Husband by a Board She Oversees

Multnomah County Commissioner candidate Jessie Burke's vision and methods for Old Town’s rebirth have raised eyebrows. Meanwhile, the board she oversees has been accused of being hostile toward homeless service organizations.

Suzette Smith


Calling all brainiacs: 🤓 It's time for another super fun edition of POP QUIZ PDX! This week's trivia game includes sassy-ass Qs about VOLCANOES! STRANGE LIGHTS IN THE SKY! (And Jill Biden?) JILL BIDEN! See how well you score! 🤔


What Multnomah County Voters Could Learn From Others Who Ousted Progressive DAs

Fears over crime and safety can fuel election outcomes, but in cities like San Francisco and Philadelphia, where progressive DAs were ousted in favor of "tough on crime" prosecutors, research shows little evidence that DAs impacted crime rates.

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News Sat 12:45 PM

May Primary Will Test Portlanders’ Tolerance For Outside Spending On Local Elections

Portland voters have tried to get big money out of local politics for years, but it has poured into Congressional races this spring.

The final weeks of the campaign to replace Rep. Earl Blumeaneur in Congress have been dominated by reporting on a single issue: the millions of dollars of outside spending that have flooded in to try to stop the candidacy of former Multnomah County Commissioner Susheela Jayapal. 

The money, as The Intercept and other outlets have reported, is coming predominantly from one source: AIPAC, the pro-Israel lobby that appears to have soured on Jayapal for her pro-ceasefire stance in the aftermath of the October 7 attack in Israel and subsequent assault on Gaza. 

With no limit on outside spending, the deluge of money spent to defeat Jayapal has been eye-popping: Jayapal’s key opponent, state representative and physician Maxine Dexter, is reportedly being backed by an outside expenditure campaign on pace to exceed $3 million by the time the primary ends on Tuesday. Dexter’s campaign  raised nearly $220,000 in a single day last week, with the vast majority of those contributions coming from outside of Oregon. 

The outside spending, in some ways, is setting the race up as a test of how amenable Portland voters are to outside campaign interference, generally, as well as outside spending from the Israel lobby and aligned right-wing forces in particular. If Dexter wins, the consequences may be wide-ranging. 

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EverOut Sat 10:31 AM

This Week In Portland Food News

Two New Cafes Open, A Fire Destroys Fifty Licks, and Bambuza Says Goodbye

This week brings an influx of caffeine in the form of the new coffee shops Lux Coffee Lounge and Stem Cafe. Read up on that and more of the latest culinary updates, including where to find brisket-topped pizza this weekend and how to support Fifty Licks after a recent fire. For more ideas, check out our food and drink guide.


Lux Coffee Lounge
Bridgetown Bites reports that co-owners Samir Abdul and Olesya Palamanchuk recently opened this elegant-looking coffee shop on SE Division Street, serving a selection of tea, espresso, pastries, sandwiches, crêpes, toast, and more.

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News Fri 3:15 PM

As Maxine Dexter Touts Progressive Values, Conservative Donors are Flooding Her Campaign Coffers

With the election to determine who will take over Oregon's 3rd House District just days away, will Maxine Dexter's flood of opaque donations impact the race?

Kevin Foster contributed to this story. 

Over the past two weeks, it’s become clear that Maxine Dexter’s campaign to represent Oregon’s 3rd Congressional District in the United States House has been the beneficiary of millions in donations from political action committees (PACs) with unknown contributors

Dexter’s campaign has also received hundreds of thousands of dollars in recent contributions from individual, out-of-state donors—many of whom have donated to Republican candidates and pro-Israel groups in the past. Millions in PAC money has gone toward mailer ads attacking Susheela Jayapal, Dexter’s top opponent in the race. 

Jayapal and Eddy Morales, another candidate in the race, have both spoken out strongly against the recent flood of donations. Jayapal and Morales—along with dozens of Portland voters—say Dexter hasn’t condemned the dark money spending strongly enough. 

Maxine Dexter, Susheela Jayapal, and Eddy Morales are all running for the 3rd Congressional District. photos from campaigns 

While Dexter has continued to tout her progressive stances, opponents have also suggested that the wave of donations—and even more, who they originate from—show she is more conservative than she lets on. They also worry if Dexter wins, dark money PACs and conservative groups would feel more comfortable getting involved in Portland races in the future. 

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News Fri 12:54 PM

The Top Six Mercury Stories to Read Before Filling Out Your Ballot!

Election Day is this Tuesday, May 21—want to stop the conservative wave trying to hijack local and state races? We've got information you need to know.

If you haven't filled out your ballot for Oregon's May primary election, be an informed voter and read these revealing articles from the Mercury! (There are definitely some shenanigans going on. 👀) Don't forget, your ballot must be dropped off or postmarked by this coming Tuesday, May 21.

What Multnomah County Voters Could Learn From Others Who Ousted Progressive DAs

One of the spiciest campaigns is the battle for Multnomah County District Attorney between current DA Mike Schmidt and his "tough on crime" opponent, Nathan Vasquez. And while voters’ fears over crime and safety often fuel election outcomes, evidence shows prosecutors have little impact on crime rates. Our Abe Asher reports!

Justin Sullivan / Getty Images

County Commissioner Candidate Saw More Than $40K Funneled to Her Husband by a Board She Oversees

Jessie Burke, the hotel owner and current Multnomah County commissioner candidate, also chairs the Old Town Community Association board. In 2023, several OTCA project contracts were awarded to her husband by the OTCA board, which they both serve on—a pretty clear conflict of interest. And while Burke has also been calling for more homeless shelters during her run for commissioner, public records show that she has actively tried to push shelters and support services out of the Old Town neighborhood. Our Courtney Vaughn has the scoop.

Suzette Smith

As Maxine Dexter Touts Progressive Values, Conservative Donors are Flooding Her Campaign Coffers

With the election just days away, Oregon U.S. House candidate Maxine Dexter wants to be seen as the top progressive in the race. But as the money keeps rolling in from dark money PACs and conservative, pro-Israel donors, some voters are wary.


Frustrated with Biden’s Stance on Gaza, Activists Want Voters to Write “Uncommitted” on Their Ballots

Thinking about writing "uncommitted" on your ballot to show President Biden your displeasure for his support of Israel's mass murder of 35,000 Palestinians? We get it! However, before you do, read this article from Kevin Foster who explains why your "uncommitted" vote may not work the way you intend.


The Mercury's Endorsements for the May 2024 Primary Election!

Having trouble figuring out who and what to vote for in our upcoming election? The Mercury has done the research for you with our thoughtful and smart election endorsements. Check 'em out, and be a well-informed voter!

Michelle Murk

Your Handy-Dandy Mercury Voter Cheat Sheet!

No time to read our excellent endorsements? Grab your ballot and consult our quick 'n' easy voter cheat sheet... you'll be finished and ready to drop off your ballot in no time!

Mercury staff
EverOut Fri 10:55 AM

The Best Bang for Your Buck Events in Portland This Weekend: May 17–19, 2024

GNARFEST, Vanport Mosaic Festival, and More Cheap & Easy Events Under $15

The weekend is calling with low-key, high-fun events from Gnarly's vegan market GNARFEST to The 9th Vanport Mosaic Festival and from East Portland Sunday Parkways to Lake Oswego's AANHPI Heritage Month Celebration. For more ideas, check out our guide to the top events of the week.



A Retrospection
Claire Woolner's tragicomic clown confessional is the most surreal performance you'll catch this week (or, like, maybe ever). Woolner's blend of absurdist comedy and improvised clowning plumbs the depths of "ego battle, failure, creativity, and how to survive"—you know, all the important stuff! A Retrospective also swept last year's Hollywood Fringe Festival, winning Top of the Fringe and numerous other awards. If you're not convinced, consider this quote from the New York Times: “Ultimately, her absurdism answers one question: What if the performance artist Marina Abramovic were a clown?” LINDSAY COSTELLO
(Kickstand Comedy, Ladd's Addition, $15)

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The Mercury provides news and fun every single day—but your help is essential. If you believe Portland benefits from smart, local journalism and arts coverage, please consider making a small monthly contribution, because without you, there is no us. Thanks for your support!

Good Morning, Blood Brothers fans... and (okay) Portland! As we wrote yesterday in Mercury Music Picks, the '00s hardcore band the Blood Brothers announced this week that they're reuniting for a US tour. Therefore this morning's morning news blast will be interspersed with images of opossums—there is no correlation; I just felt like it.

• Guess who has two thumbs and got a notification this morning that their ballot was accepted by Multnomah County Elections? This guy. CANCEL ME OUT, MOTHER FUCKERS. Or join me in the founding principle of our nation that is democratic voting. Read the Mercury's May 2024 endorsements here. 

• Also in ELECTION SPICE, Multnomah County voters will elect a district attorney next week, in what turned out to be a surprisingly spicy race during the May primary. Veteran prosecutor Nathan Vasquez is challenging his boss, current DA Mike Schmidt, for the job. Vasquez is wooing voters with claims about rising crime, a lack of prosecutions and other generalized scary things he blames Schmidt for. But in other counties and cities, data shows a change in DA had little to no impact on crime rates. Abe Asher explains more in his latest piece for the Mercury.

• Continuing the ELECTION Scoville scale coverage, the vision and methods of Society Hotel owner Jessie Burke have raised eyebrows in recent years. Now she's defending lucrative contracts awarded to her husband by a community organization they both oversee. News editor Courtney Vaughn has more.

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News Fri 8:23 AM

What Multnomah County Voters Could Learn From Others Who Ousted Progressive DAs

Voters’ fears over crime and safety often fuel election outcomes. Evidence shows prosecutors have little impact on crime rates.

When Mike Schmidt was elected as Multnomah County District Attorney in 2020, it was in a landslide: Schmidt won with more than 76 percent of the vote, promising in the first months of the COVID-19 pandemic to revamp the county’s approach to criminal justice. 

Schmidt’s election didn’t happen in a vacuum. It came instead as part of a wave of progressive, reform-minded prosecutors who were elected in urban counties across the country with pledges to overhaul their jurisdiction’s approach to criminal justice.

Larry Krasner, who was elected district attorney in Philadelphia in 2017, was the first progressive district attorney to make national headlines. But the most prominent member of the movement was likely Chesa Boudin, the son of two formerly incarcerated Weather Underground members who was narrowly elected DA in San Francisco two years later. 

Now, with Schmidt facing an uphill battle in his reelection campaign against veteran Multnomah County prosecutor Nathan Vasquez, Boudin’s tenure—and what has happened in San Francisco since it ended—may prove instructive for Multnomah County voters. 

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Rhubarb, also known as the "pie plant," is a quintessentially Northwest ingredient and a harbinger of spring. It also holds a special place in my heart—it grew wild near my childhood home, and I love it so much I even named my cat after it. Here's where to get your fill of the blush-pink, sweet-tart stalks this season, from cake to pie to doughnuts.

Note: Availability may vary. We recommend calling ahead to check to ensure specials are still available—or just take your chances and accept the fact that you may end up with an equally delicious, non-rhubarb option.

Pastry chef Kim Boyce's whole-grain bakery currently features adorably diminutive rhubarb hand pies on its spring menu.
Rose City Park

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News Thu 3:40 PM

County Commissioner Candidate Saw More Than $40K Funneled to Her Husband by a Board She Oversees

Jessie Burke's vision and methods for Old Town’s rebirth have raised eyebrows. Meanwhile, her group has been accused of being hostile toward homeless service organizations.

A candidate running for the Multnomah County Board of Commissioners is defending lucrative contracts awarded to her husband by a community organization they both oversee. 

Jessie Burke, owner of the Society Hotel in downtown Portland, and previously Posies Café in North Portland, is a Multnomah County Commissioner candidate, as well as the board chair of the Old Town Community Association (OTCA). Her husband, Jonathan Cohen, serves as the treasurer for OTCA’s board.

Last February, the OTCA board voted to award several project management contracts to Cohen and his property development company, Equity Development Labs, to oversee more than $1.2 million in Old Town public improvement projects. Burke is a co-founder of Equity Development Labs, and is registered as a member on state business filings. 

Cohen was chosen to oversee and hire contractors for the restoration of the Chinatown Gate, the installation of decorative lanterns and lights, a road repair project, and early construction phases of a forthcoming Steel Bridge skatepark. 

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