Illustration by Kalah Allen

To those of you still sporting an Obama bumper sticker from 2008, or have a nice fresh one for 2012, you may have noticed that there aren't many of you left. I think I know the reason for that. Portland citizens in general pay attention and hold their esteemed politicians to a higher standard than does the average American. They realized that having an Obama sticker next to their "End the Wars," "Legalize It," and "Free Bradley Manning" stickers makes them look like a clueless dipshit. And don't give me that "change takes time" bullshit. That mantra became collateral damage from an unmanned drone long ago. I'm not saying that come November there will be a better choice, but think twice about having an indefinitely detaining, citizen-spying, banker-puppet incumbent's name dulling the clear coat on your Prius. That was sooo 2008.—Anonymous