Illustration by Kalah Allen

Fuck all of you. I was born in the US. My mom was born in the US. My dad came here legally and is a naturalized citizen. But I live in a "charming," still blue-collar neighborhood in Portland (the kind that Willy Vlautin writes nostalgic songs about), and because I look Mexican, I get a bunch of racist, classless, truck-driving idiots yelling at me all the time. I try my hardest not to ruffle any feathers, but every week one of you thinks of something horrible to yell at me. It can't be the way I behave, because my big, white, Southern, brown-haired, bearded man-friend behaves WAY WORSE than I do. But I get people constantly yelling at me to pick up our dog's shit (what did you think all those plastic bags in my back pocket were for?), and asked why I'm using the water fountain in the kids' area of the park (seriously, do you not learn about segregation in elementary school? We're allowed to drink from the same water fountains now). I can't wait until you're all priced out and replaced by white yuppies who will bend over backward to be nice to me out of racial guilt. It's already happening. You're on your way out, suckers.—Anonymous