I, Anonymous 

Apply Yourself

It was exciting that you had a job opening at your sickeningly hip creative agency in that one building that used to be a warehouse. Your Facebook page is filled with photos of canned moments of "fun" your company has had together. "Hey, we're having a BBQ and someone made cupcakes and we're playing basketball all on our lunch break!" Did you forget what it was like being on the other end of it all, trying to land the dream job you have? It takes so very little time to follow up after an interview, or respond to an appropriate follow-up email. I gave it my all and have the education, experience, and personality that fit the role. I didn't do anything weird, so why no response? Was it because I just didn't quite have that Zooey Deschanel look you were hoping for? Or maybe I should have brought homemade vegan scones to the interview, or talked more about my obscure record collection. Thanks for being too important to kindly let me know the position has been filled after sweating for three weeks post-interview.—Anonymous

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To submit your own rant, rave or confession, email anonymous@portlandmercury.com

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