THE RETURN OF MERCURY PRISON PEN PALS!

Aw, it seems like it's been a while since we got a request from one of our incarcerated readers for a fellow Merc-reading letter writer. Got time for a new friend? Herrrrre's David!

DEAR MERCURY—Would one of your readers like to be the first on his or her block to exchange letters with an incarcerated felon? Perhaps I will bring up some pressing social issue that can be discussed with his or her life coach over tapas? Or provide the inspiration for the gritty realism missing from his or her unpublished novel? The possibilities are endless! And varied. There are no women or cheap drugs here. Also, no internet and therefore no internet porn. Please publish this.

David Vikram Hansen #15242406 CRCL 9111 NE Sunderland Rd. Portland, OR 97211


TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT

RE: "An Office Among Officers" [News, March 18], regarding the less than ideal, if ostensibly temporary, circumstance of Portland's new police reform watchdog, Paul De Muniz, sharing an office building with the very same officers he's meant to hear complaints about.

One of the problems advocates run into when sitting on committees or commissions is they begin to like the very people they are scrutinizing. You must not spend too much time with the people you watch, and this move makes no sense on many different levels. The judge must find a place that is not associated with the police, period. Move out or be branded just another group of shills spending lots of money and coming up with nothing of worth; that would be bad!

posted by LONEVET2008


PROJECTIONS

RE: "Films of Future Past" [Feature, March 18], regarding the Hollywood Theatre's debut of their new 70mm film capabilities with a weekend of screenings of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

This is great because digitally acquired images that are digitally projected feel more like a PowerPoint presentation than a theater experience. Most digital cinema projectors are only 2K resolution, where a 70mm film frame would require about 16K to resolve all of the information. Digital cinema is slightly cheaper and more convenient for the studios making crap movies not worth the film. Believe it or not most of the prestigious movies coming out of Hollywood are still shot on film.

posted by Ten Red


SICK... AND OLD

RE: "Will Someone Please Adopt... MARTY, THE WICKED SICK MILLENNIAL?" New Column!, March 18], a plea from a newly Portland-area millennial.

In what universe is a 34-year-old a millennial? Dude would have graduated high school in '98. Maybe a 24-year-old would talk like that, or any 19-year-old kid who seems to comprise the bulk of the writing staff at Vice. This could have been so much funnier if my hardworking age group hadn't been mis-categorized so poorly.

posted by burtreynlds


ALWAYS A TWAT

RE: "Fashion Unchained" [I, Anonymous, March 18], in which an anonymous writer is aghast that anyone would still wear a chain wallet as a style choice.

I mean, no one has ever said, "I wish I had a chain wallet," after being robbed, but the point still stands. Let people dress how they want, and if you're angry about it just remember someone out there thinks you look like a twat, too.

posted by Blanders


WHO OWNS WHO

RE: "Don't Call It a Comeback" [News, March 18], regarding a push to re-establish voter-owned elections in Portland.

I think recent history has shown these so-called "voter owned" elections have turned into quite the grand fiasco. The system was abused, sure, but also Portland voters have shown a marked indifference toward Big Money thrown into elections. To enact better change, we should once and for all throw out our mini-mayor system, which gives well-heeled interest groups a better chance of enacting law in their favor, and not in the best interest of your average Portland citizen.

posted by frankieb


OR, YOU COULD LEARN HOW TO DRIVE

RE: "Finally, Zero Visibility" [Hall Monitor, March 11], regarding the city's "Vision Zero" plan for road safety.

I am of the opinion that we should be more concerned with driver education rather than posting more speed limits or improving infrastructure with regard to making roadways safer for everyone. Spending all that money for signs and rules and legislation seems foolish when it's the people who drive like assholes that make our roads and sidewalks unsafe. Not sure how people drive in your neighborhood, but I have seen shit in East Portland that makes my butt pucker just thinking about. Too many drivers these days have no courtesy or respect for other drivers or traffic laws. How about actually policing traffic, like in the old days? It's not like the PPB [Portland Police Bureau] is short-staffed.

posted by David A. Pope

DAVID, OCCASIONALLY it still needs to be said. We're not sure how, or why, but by golly do Portland drivers, in general, suck. You win this week's Mercury letter of the week, and two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater, whose screens sometimes feature some very fancy driving indeed.