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Our Top Pedalpalooza Bike Rides

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EVEN IF YOU'VE got the impressive gluteal fortitude to join each and every one of Pedalpalooza's 249 bike rides, you can't hit them all. Here are our top picks for this year's festival. There is, of course, much more. Check out our calendar insert, or stop by pedalpalooza.org.

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Thursday, June 6

Kickoff Ride and Party—Pace yourself. It's going to be a long several weeks. This easily paced trek from Holladay Park to a Mercury-sponsored bash is the perfect way to dip your toes in the fount of excellence that is Pedalpalooza. Ride starts at Holladay Park, NE 11th & Holladay, 6 pm; party at Branx, 320 SE 2nd, 8:30 pm

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Friday, June 7

Run-DMC vs. Beastie Boys Ride—Get out your flyest Adidas tracksuit (velvet preferable) and polish up your shell-toes. This one's gonna bump. SE 50th & Division, 7:30 pm

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Saturday, June 8

Never Nude Ride—Ease into tonight's garment-free shenanigans at your own pace—and celebrate the return of Arrested Development—with a taut pair of jorts. Coe Circle, NE César E Chávez & Glisan, 12:45 pm

World Naked Bike Ride—Because of course you want to do this. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park (free admission beginning at 8 pm!), 10 pm

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Sunday, June 9

Awesome Yards Ride—Portland sure does have some sweet yards. Explore them! Ivon Street Park, SE 47th & Ivon, 3 pm

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Tuesday June 11

Long Exposure Night Photography Ride—This city can always use more beautiful pictures of itself. Take them by bike. Keller Fountain, SW 3rd & Clay, 8 pm

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Wednesday, June 12

Bike Smut 7: The Porny Express—This year, beyond its special brand of sexy bicycle videos, Bike Smut's touting something called Porn-E-Oke. Which is just what it sounds like. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton, 9 pm, $7, 18+

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Thursday, June 13

Kid's Pedal Free Ride—A pedal-free critical mass ride to take back Laurelhurst Park. Outta the way gramps, here comes the future "On Your Left!". Starts at Laurelhurst Park playground, SE 39th and SE Stark, 5:30 pm

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Friday, June 14

Stumptown Joustdown—A tall-bike jousting tournament is just the thing to liven up your staid Friday afternoon. Irving Park, NE 7th & Fremont (at the basketball courts), 3 pm, $5 to joust

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Saturday, June 15

Star Wars vs. Star Trek Ride—This ride's always a spectacle, with some of Pedalpalooza's more-innovative costumes and contraptions. As much as we hate ourselves for saying this: Go, you must. Col. Summers Park, SE 20th & Belmont, 1 pm

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Monday, June 17

Karaoke in the Park Ride—An hour-long ride, ending in a park with a homemade karaoke rig setup. "It's legit," organizers promise. We think we agree. Parking lot of Chopsticks Express II, 2651 E Burnside, 8 pm

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Tuesday, June 18

Hawthorne Bridge Bike Barometer 10K—The Mercury supports anything that involves mischief and the Hawthorne Bridge bike counter. Can repeated loops over the bridge get the barometer to register 10,000 trips for the day? Hawthorne Bridge, beginning at 6 am, all day

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Friday, June 21

Dropout Prom Ride—Always one of Pedalpalooza's best, and best attended, parties. Dust off your top hat. Buy a corsage. Col. Summers Park, SE 20th & Belmont, 9 pm

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Sunday, June 23

Swim Across Portland Ride—Bike hop from pool to pool to pool. An excellent idea. Water Avenue Coffee, 1028 SE Water, 1:30 pm, $12 for pool admission

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