Daniel G. Cole

The Pacific Northwest's biggest, best, and only amateur porn festival wrapped up its 11th annual run last weekend. And it was our biggest HUMP! yet: More than 20,000 people poured into theaters in Seattle, Portland, and Olympia over two long, wet weekends to watch porn the way their grandparents used to—sitting next to strangers in the dark.

We like to think HUMP! audiences have a better time than the audiences at those old dirty movie theaters. Actually, we know HUMP! audiences have a better time—audiences at those old dirty movie theaters didn't cheer for the performers and filmmakers after each film!

And what did audiences see at HUMP! this year? HUMP! audiences cheered live-action video games; transformative blowjobs (emphasis on trans); human lube dispensers; buckets of orca semen; bondage play for all ages, orientations, and gender identities; googly-eyed penis puppets; a climactic passage from Mike Huckabee's newest book—and so much more. HUMP! audiences were also cheering for films they won't see anywhere else—or ever again, because movies made for HUMP! are not released online. (At least not by us!)

The 11th annual HUMP! was our best porn fest yet, with more screenings, bigger crowds, and more films than ever before. And if you missed HUMP!, don't despair: This year's HUMP! festival will be touring the country in the new year. Keep an eye on humptour.com for announcements about cities and dates, and make a plan to join us at a HUMP! screening in another city!

While HUMP! now tours the United States and Canada, only audiences in Seattle and Portland get to vote for the best films in the festival. HUMP! audiences bestow the annual HUMP! Awards on the filmmakers—and the large cash prizes that go with them. We carefully retrieved all the ballots from our ballot boxes (maybe voter turnout would be higher if Multnomah County stole our vagina-and-butthole-shaped ballot-box design?), counted them up over the last week, and we are pleased to announce the winners!


THE 2015 HUMP! AWARDS

With the exception of the Jury Award, the winners of all HUMP! Awards are determined by audience ballot at screenings in Portland and Seattle.

Jury Award: Cuckold ($1,000 Prize)

Best Sex: Pachisi ($1,000 Prize)

Runner-Up TIE: Art Primo and Cake Boss (each film will get a $250 Runner-Up Prize)

Best Humor: The Collector ($1,000 Prize)

Runner Up: Film Bonoir ($250 Prize)

Best Kink: Pre-IPO startup valued at $1 billion or more in the Castle ($1,000 Prize)

Runner Up: Lube Dispenser ($250 Prize)

BEST IN SHOW: Level Up ($5,000 Prize)

Congrats to all the winners of HUMP! 2015!


CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS FOR HUMP! 2016

Before we get to the formal call for submissions...

We have some big news for HUMP! 2016 filmmakers: We're upping the size of most of the prizes! Starting next year, the prizes in the Best Sex, Best Humor, and Best Kink categories will be $2,000 each; runners-up in all three categories will receive a $1,000 prize. The Jury Award and the Best in Show prizes are unchanged. There is no charge to enter a film in HUMP!, and filmmakers who allow their films to tour the country get a percentage of every ticket sold.

Okay, the call for submissions!

The Stranger and the Portland Mercury invite filmmakers, wannabe filmmakers, wannabe porn stars, actual porn stars, kinksters, animators, musicians, choreographers, friends, lovers, couples, throuples, and other creative types everywhere to create short porn films—five minutes max—for the 12th annual HUMP! festival. Your films can be hardcore, softcore, live action, animation, kinky, vanilla, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, trans, genderqueer—anything goes at HUMP! (Well, almost anything: No poop, no animals, no minors.) HUMP! films are not released online or in any other form. Filmmakers retain all the rights.

Filmmakers are invited to include two props in their films so that audiences will know they're watching movies that were made just for HUMP! The use of these props is OPTIONAL, but the inclusion of the suggested props has been known to break a tie and get a film into HUMP! The props for HUMP! 2016 are... a "Make America Great Again" hat (avoid giving any money to Donald Trump by buying a cheap knockoff, please!) and an accordion.

The deadline for submissions for HUMP! 2016 will be Friday, September 30, 2016. For more information about submitting a film to HUMP!, go to humpportland.com.