In Panama City. Which, once again, calls for judicious use of Mark Searcy’s Tasergate illo: Send your Taser stories to: news@portlandmercury.com.
2008
Posted inNews
Being Annoying Now Illegal In Brighton
Since when did being annoying become a crime? Since Brighton City Council approved a public conduct code Monday night, which includes fining someone up to $500 for being annoying. I give it three weeks before someone from the Portland Business Alliance is on the plane down there with a notepad and paper.
Posted inDrunk
Celebrities: They Menstruate Just Like Us!
I remember when I caught my first case of menstruation—I was so ashamed. Luckily for me I lived in Australia, and I had teenage Naomi Watts to introduce me to the most amazing product ever: TAMPAX! Ruined trousers, you are now a thing of the past!In your FACE, menstruation. IN YOUR BIG FAT FUCKING FACE!!!
Posted inGossip
Blind Item: Rachel Ray Loves Portland Indie Rock?
This just in from the End Hits gossip desk: Which high-energy Portland band will supposedly be cooking up some rock and roll goodness alongside Rachel Ray at SXSW. They’ll be playing her afternoon BBQ party/showcase, but hopefully they’ll get paid in something other than her tacky merchandise. Yum-O! Comment below with your wild guesses.
Posted inSnowpocalypse!!
DIE, OLD MAN WINTER! JUST FUCKING DIE!
While KATU (studio location: NE 21st and Sandy) has been frantically, giddily engaging in nonstop reporting on SNOWPOCALYPSE!!—indeed, they’ve been breathlessly, repetitively announcing minute-by-minute conditions for days now, reporting from such far-flung locales as, say, the snowy intersection at NE 21st and Sandy—one thing that’s utterly awesome about their coverage is meteorologist Scott Sistek’s excellently […]
Posted inNews
Mayor Potter Calls A Snow Day
“Due to worsening weather conditions and Tri-Met’s reduction in transit service, all City offices are closed effective immediately. All non-essential employees are released from work. All employees who reported to work today will be paid for their entire work day. Employees who did not come to work today must follow the City’s inclement weather policy […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Oh, Great. A New Will Ferrell Movie. Fantastic.
If you had told me back in Will Ferrell’s SNL or Anchorman days that in a few short years I’d be dreading every new project starring Ferrell, I’d have kicked you in the mouth for being a liar. BUT YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN RIGHT. Now I see stuff like this poster and my only hope […]
Posted inNews
The Grinch That Stole Hanukkah?
It seems a Holiday Menorah in the Pearl District’s Jamison Square won’t be reappearing this year following complaints from area residents.Two years ago, racial justice advocate Sam Sachs noticed that Jamison Square had a Christmas Tree in the middle of it. Sachs thought it would be great to see a Menorah for Hannukah as well, […]
Posted inHomo
John Aravosis on Rick Warren
John Aravosis: I’ve been scratching my head for several days now, trying to figure out why practically every news story about Rick Warren explains that he’s not anti-gay, and in fact quite progressive and moderate, because he’s worked on AIDS in Africa. Well, bully for him. But there are two problems there: 1. I’m not […]
Posted inEthics
I Just Joined the NRA
Christmas came early to my house on Saturday, when I received a missive from the National Rifle Association of America, with whom I do not ordinarily correspond. Now, I’m a traditionalist when it comes to waiting to open Christmas presents until Christmas, but this one was emblazoned with: A GIFT FOR YOU: MEMBERSHIP IN THE […]
Posted inNews
Good Morning, News!
ARCTIC-GEDDON ’08 CONTINUES! Oh, sweet Jesus… I haven’t been out of the house in days! I think I might… I might… where’s my double-sided ax?!? Tri-Met Update: Many buses are stuck in the snow. Crews are working as fast as possible to free them. All buses remain chained; expect delays of 20-30 minutes. Many buses […]
Posted inVideo Games
Mini-Reviews: Valkyria Chronicles
Since I have to play a fuckton of games on a daily basis and the Mercury has a limited amount of review space, a lot of games fall through the cracks. Consider this my (hopefully weekly) attempt at covering as many of these titles as possible. I’ll mostly be choosing stuff that I’ve been enjoying […]