So here’s the deal: We’re giving all Mercury employees a week off, which means you get ONE paper on Thursday, Dec 25 that covers TWO weeks— with double listings, double picks, and double the smartassery—and then you don’t get shit until Thursday, Jan 8. You like that deal? Well… do ya, punk? However, if it […]
2008
Posted inSnowpocalypse!!
This is Funny
While I’m not going to justify the actions of the rapscallion who wrote scatological words on various snow covered cars on NE 28th—between Burnside and Stark—that doesn’t mean I didn’t think it was pretty funny in a really juvenile way. From the “Poo Mobil” to “Diarhea” (it’s a tough word to spell, I won’t judge […]
Posted inDrunk
Flirting… with Magic!
Yes, you’ve tried “making conversation” in order to pick up the chicks… that shit don’t work! Now you can really impress the ladies INTO BED using the seducing power of “magic.” Luckily for us, girls am dumb! Tips to Everything is Terrible!
Posted inFood and Drink
Open Christmas Day
This just in my e-mail box from the capital letter disdaining m.b.: anyways, i was wondering if anyone at the merc knew of a list of places that were gonna be open on xmas, and what times they were open. all i know off hand is Zupans (at least they seem to be open till […]
Posted inPolitics
Richard Cohen on Rick Warren
Richard Cohen in the Washington Post: Not that he was planning to attend, but Barack Obama should know that my sister’s inauguration night party—the one for which she was preparing Obama Punch—has been canceled. The notice went out over the weekend, by e-mail and word of mouth, that Obama’s choice of Rick Warren to give […]
Posted inFood and Drink
Do Your Part
Weather like we’ve had this week is not only tough on the citizenry of Portland, it can be hell for local restaurants. If there isn’t any foot traffic, and people don’t want to drive, business tends to go right into the shitter. I talked to several restaurant owners last week who told me that the […]
Posted inFashion
The Best Stocking Stuffers are at Nationale (Now Open!)
Mere days before the Greatest Consumer Holiday of the Year, Nationale (2730 E Burnside) bravely opened its doors to the snowy streets on Sunday night (at 7 pm!), and will be open tonight until 8, and again tomorrow from about noon to 6. If you’ve been holding off on picking up stocking stuffers, your delay […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Got Plans on Christmas Eve? Cancel ‘Em!
Last Sunday’s screening of Silent Night, Deadly Night was canceled thanks to the stupid weather—but never fear, Xmas horror fans. From the Grindhouse Film Fest: Rescheduled for Christmas Eve! On Wednesday December 24th at 10:15 pm at the Hollywood Theatre, the Grindhouse Film Festival presents Silent Night, Deadly Night! A 35mm print of the 1984 […]
Posted inBlogs
Au Revoir, Mon Amy J. Ruiz!
Usually Santa Claus giveth—today he taketh away-eth. It is with heavy heart that I announce the departure of editor Amy J. Ruiz from our news team. While I’m sure she’ll regret this decision for the rest of her life, she’s moving on to a pretty cool job: Amy will be joining the new Mayor Sam […]
Posted inSnowpocalypse!!
Do You Have a Frozen Baby?
Because if you do, you might want to walk back over to my house and pick up your damn stroller. This frozen block of stroller has been abandoned out in front of my house since Saturday, and I’m a little concerned for its former occupant and the sort of parent that would just ditch baby’s […]
Posted inNews
Good Morning, News!!
OBAMA VACATION!!! His hotness plays golf, and orders: “two hot dogs, two spam musubi, two passion orange sodas, one Powerade and one coke, for a tab of $17.75.” (Musubi is sushi made with Spam, apparently). But hold it. Stop the press: DRUG REHAB OR REVOLVING DOOR??? That’s right, kids. Portland made the New York Times […]
Posted inNews
City Seeks Donations For Homeless
From City Commissioner Nick Fish: CITY URGES COMMUNITY DONATIONS FOR HOMELESS Warming centers and shelters are open for people in our region who are experiencing homelessness. Weather conditions have been severe for the last eight nights and are expected to last through the end of this week. Warming centers are in dire need of donated […]