STAYING CLASSY
DEAR PORTLAND MERCURY—The fact that this article was published is inexcusable and appalling [“82nd vs. Lombard,” Feature, Jan 20]. This article fails to acknowledge the communities and neighborhoods beyond Stumptown and mod condos. I don’t care if parts of this article are meant to be facetious. This goes beyond being classist. I seriously ask the Mercury to apologize for this level of disrespect in their next issue.
-Anonymous
A SAD, SAD PLACE TO DIE
DEAR MERCURY—I live in North Portland and I must say I agree with the article “82nd vs. Lombard” [Feature, Jan 20]. The one particular part of the article that was spot-on was about Diamond Darcy’s. If you are looking for a sad, sad place to die, Darcy’s is the spot.
-Kelli Hale Justice
NINETEEN NINETY NOT
DEAR MERCURY—I was exactly 20 in 1990, and that is not my memory of ’90s culture [“The Paradox of Portlandia,” Feature, Jan 20]. It’s a nice series as TV goes, I gather, but we all are aware of the difference between real life and a television show, which is manufactured artificially.
-Mezo
OLIVE APPRECIATES YOUR SUPPORT, HOWEVER UNINTELLIGIBLE
HOWDY [MERCURY OFFICE PUG] OLIVE—I stand behind you in saying that the WW can get fucked [“Fuck You, Bruce the Dog,” Blogtown, Feb 2]. Pugs are cool and know how to raise some pulses when it comes down to it, much like Big Freedia or Leslie Hall. Are corgis hanging out with a couple of gangsters in a kitchen doing a bunch of gangster shit, dranking on urban-assault 4loke con zesto? I don’t think so.
-Vincent Vega
HE’S ON THE TWITTER
DEAR MERCURY—Every Thursday for the past year or so a couple of old retired farts come into the Albina Press coffee house on Hawthorne, grab a cup, and get down to discussing the latest news in the Mercury. The highlight has always been Frank Cassano’s column [“Imbecile Parade,” sporadic]. However, for the past few months, they always greet each other on Thursdays with, “No Frank today,” and sit subdued while they ponder where today’s words of wisdom will be coming from. And this leads all of us to wonder, what ever happened to Frank?
-Larry Vicki Mertsching
AS YOU PICTURE US
DEAR MERCURY—Hi, I read your Super Bowl article and I must say, your taking on the Super Bowl and NFL as a whole is genuinely ridiculous [“Super Bowl: a Decade of Hate,” I Love Television, Feb 3]. Playing football is a very active, healthy sport. Just wanted to say as you picture us being dumb, steroided, dread-headed thugs, is far from what we are. I would say I would picture you being an overweight World of Warcraft nerd, who has nothing better to do than bash America’s all-time greatest SPORT EVER.
-cj holder
SAVE THE HIPSTERS
DEAR MERCURY—Can we please start a donation drive for hipster protection? It is passé to bitch about hipsters (whatever the fuck a hipster is), but not passé to bitch about people bitching about hipsters (whatever the fuck a hipster is)… Are these the same bitches upset about the use of the term yuppie or bourgeois???
-Oxygen Elmo
DID SOMEONE FORGET to tell us this was Black-Out Drinking Week or something? You guys seem to be having a harder time than usual expressing yourselves. Oxygen Elmo seems more ponderous than potentially combative, though, so we’ll hand off two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where he probably won’t get tickled, sorry.
Portlandia: It’s funny because it’s true. If it’s not funny….it’s you.
@CJ….yeah pretty much but I actually picture him as a creepy overweight WOW nerd. As for your winner……ya know that’s a good point, what IS a hipster anyway? I too am unsure. Are they the emo emasculated little tools in skinny jeans? Or the dorks trying really hard to look vintage Nerd with the clothing, pretentiousness and fucking Buddy Holly glasses ( seriously no matter how much you look down on others, you’re fooling yourself because YOU are the loser). Or the hordes of “Portland Culture/lifestyle” transplants. Scruffy little beards, boutique clothing……When did you get here from San Fran or Willamsburg? Feel free to go back…soon. Portland is a great town with many interesting and contributing new citizens. Too bad they seem to get lost in the hordes of fuck bags described above. Save them from what? Being Douchebags? Too late, because their BS is now socially acceptable or “cool”. That may be your plan for assimilation, I say “This is where we hold them. This is where we FIGHT. This is where they DIE!” or at least piss off to Austin. I have friends moving here and I am trying to convince them the aforementioned groups do NOT represent the majority of Portland and are self entitled wankers. Nice ageism again Mercury Staff and readers, btw. You do realize you too will age and die? That many of you are in your 30’s..not exactly “Young”, and given that many of you appear to like Cocaine, Booze and unhealthy food many of you will be in sorry shape in your 40’s. I hope you take your own attitude to heart and when the years start creeping up on you and hoist yourself up on a shower rod, oldster
more xenophobia and hating from the showstopper. yawn
Poor Darcy’s.
Hey, Darcy’s isn’t the gem of the pearl. But it’s one of the nicer places on Lombard. And its close to my home. I find it funny that Tony the editor of the Lombard vs 82 ave story was an ex employee. And a letter to the editor Kelli is also a disgruntled ex employee.