Conspiracy theory time! Is there really a secret multiagency federal government committee that’s currently drafting prohibitionist anti-cannabis policy and generating reports to be spoon-fed to our mentally deteriorating dotard-in-chief? Wow... how high would you need to be to believe that? (Here, take this giant hit of hash off a bong—that’s how high.)

Well, get ready to learn about our government’s Marijuana Policy Coordination Committee, which comprises 14 federal agencies and departments, including the Drug Enforcement Administration, who have always been longtime advocates for super-sensible cannabis policy.

“Well, gosh,” you say, “I imagine a committee with such an innocuous name would have only been convened to examine and report how this fine country can best protect, support, and financially benefit from the rapidly growing cannabis industry.” (To which the rest of us reply, “Keep dreaming,” as we roll our eyes.)

This committee was coordinated by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy (ONDCP), which—like anything undertaken by these assclowns—is predisposed toward an irrational fear and loathing of cannabis. They enlisted the assistance of this (partial) list of federal departments and agencies: Defense, Drug Enforcement, Education, Environmental Protection, Health and Human Services, Homeland Security, Justice, Labor, Transportation, and Veterans Affairs.

BuzzFeed News obtained documents that revealed this previously unknown committee—meaning it was a secret committee, and we all know what universally good things come from secret government-based committees.

According to Buzzfeed’s article, written by Dominic Holden, a July meeting summary stated, “The prevailing marijuana narrative in the US is partial, one-sided, and inaccurate,” which totally sounds like what a non-biased committee would say. But don’t worry! The government is gonna fix it by collecting its own information (which is sure to also be partial, one-sided, and inaccurate).

Holden writes that the committee asked agencies and departments to furnish data demonstrating the negative trends of legalized weed by providing stories that “illustrate one or more the key areas of concern related to use, production, and trafficking of marijuana.” The summary indicates a desire to “turn the tide” on increasing cannabis use and to “message the facts about the negative impacts of marijuana use, production, and trafficking on national health, safety, and security.”

But it’s surely not going to “message the facts” if anyone’s looking at the extensive data that shows the benefits of a regulated cannabis industry—such as billions raised in local and state tax revenue, hundreds of thousands of new jobs, new tools to combat the national opioid crisis, treatment for pediatric epilepsy and hundreds of other health issues, and on and on. That type of data doesn’t support the prohibitionist arguments being formed by this Marijuana Policy Coordination Committee, so forget it.

In June, Trump said he would “probably” support the bipartisan Gardner-Warren bill—AKA the STATES Act—which would prevent the federal government from interfering with states’ legal cannabis programs. Such a move would be welcomed by voters, as a Pew research study this year shows that 61 percent of adults favor cannabis legalization, with nine states (and Washington, DC) already having recreational cannabis programs and 31 states (and DC) having medical programs.

The goals of the ONDCP seem more in line with people such as Attorney General Jeff Sessions, a rabid lifetime prohibitionist whose job security seems tenuous at best. It also smells sweaty and desperate. People are now accessing clean and safe cannabis products with greater ease, and discovering they have been lied to for generations about cannabis’ dangers and risks.

One-sided exclusionary collections of “stories” probably aren’t going to gain much traction, especially coming from a delusional administration which traffics in a record breaking degree of lying on the daily.