Name: Pork Shank, "Osso Bucco"

Sign: Sagittarius

Birthplace: Accanto (2838 SE Belmont, 235-4900)

Turn-ons: Italians, people who want to suck the very marrow out of life, men with potbellies, a fabulous red wine, and unexpected massages.

Turnoffs: People pretending to be Italian, men with big thumbs, people who don't like salt or beans, food critics, phonies in general.

Favorite Places: There's this lovely farm in Milan where I dream about taking a long walk in the fields before finding a cozy place in the tall grass with that special someone.Favorite Hobbies/Sports:

I absolutely adore bocce ball.

Name: Real Grasshopper Sushi

Sign: Gemini

Birthplace: Sushi Mazi (2126 SE Division, 432-8651)

Turn-ons: Adventurous eaters, Asian men, being able to hang out on a leaf on a warm summer's day and bask in the sun with friends.

Turnoffs: Birds, DDT, squeamish people who don't want to try something new, rainy days.

My Ethnic Background: I'm an Anthropod of the order Orthoptera, suborder Caelifera.

Favorite Hobbies/Sports:I was long-jump champion in high school, w00t!

Name: Chicago Red Hot

Sign: Scorpio

Birthplace: Wayne's Chicago Red Hots (3901 NE MLK, 493-4537)

Turn-ons: Frankly, I'm a chubby chaser. I like hanging out in Chicago's Millennium Park, good blues music, and maybe a moonlit walk on the shores of Lake Michigan.

Turnoffs: Cardinals fans, New Yorkers, people who want to trade political favors for money.

Other Modeling Work I've Done: I had an exciting run as the Vienna Beef spokesmodel, but I'm excited to be in the pages of the Mercury!

Favorite Hobbies/Sports: I'm a HUGE Cubs fan! Go Cubbies!

Name: Oysters and Kimchi

Birthplace: MiHo Izakaya (4057 N Interstate, 719-6152)

Sign: Pisces

Turn-ons: I love hanging out with a guy who doesn't mind getting a little raw. I also like pearls, long walks on the beach, and people who know how to ferment.

Turnoff: Offshore oil drilling.

Ambitions: I try to stay focused on the simple things in life because my ambitions are forever changing.

Most Embarrassing Moment: Once I had a crush on someone who was allergic to shellfish. That was awkward.

Name: Belgian-Style Mussels Frites

Birthplace: Laurelhurst Market (3155 E Burnside, 206-3097)

Sign: Libra

Turn-ons: Men with a healthy appetite who sport those fun curly mustaches. A cute butt doesn’t hurt either!

Turnoffs: Pedantic people who feel like I should be called “moules” frites.

Favorite Sports/Hobbies: I just like to curl up with a Hercule Poirot novel by Agatha Christie and while away the hours.

Ambition: To be the best damn mussels frites dish in Portland (when I’m in season).

Name: Amandine Crêpe

Birthplace: Suzette (2921 NE Alberta, 473-8657)

Sign: Virgo

Turn-ons: Men who look good in skinny jeans, who are also sensitive and comfortable enough in their masculinity to enjoy something pretty.

Turnoffs: Weak, shallow, and generally unhappy people. Hairy backs, Billy Bob teeth, and someone who makes a lot of noise when they eat.

Other Modeling Work I've Done: I once did an ad campaign for men's cologne with Gérard Depardieu in Japan. He's so dreamy.

Favorite Hobbies/Sports: I love the films of Jean-Pierre Jeunet.