There are as many methods for putting together a workout mix as there are ways to work out. Whether it's pulsing electronica for reps and toning work, soothingly inspirational jams for long runs, or heavy-as-fuck metal for getting your shred on, oftentimes music makes the workout. Here are some tracks to add to your next playlist.
"Get Swoll" by Constantine (Big Con)
Human sausage casing Constantine, known by his rap name Big Con, recently released this fiasco of meatheadedness, which poetically lauds the merits of getting your swoll on at the gym. If ever a song captured the blockheaded repetition and potentially damaging physical strain of lifting obscene amounts of weight, it is this. Over a squealy-guitar jock-rock backing, Con raps arrhythmically about transforming your 99-pound-weakling self into a rampaging, possibly homicidal maniac capable of stomping puny humans into pink chum.
"(Crank It Like a) Chainsaw" by Family Force 5
A Christian rock band from Atlanta might seem an odd choice to celebrate the vanity of whipping your body into fuck-me shape, but with Family Force 5, all bets are off. The implications of tugging on a phallic-shaped chainsaw are not lost on these Jesus-lovin' pranksters, either. The tune's crunky electronic beat and atrociously dumb lyrics ("Now hear me roar, I'm an apex predator/From the sycamores, let's get Skeletor") will have you blasting through your regimen at top speed, simply so you can turn this bitch off.
"Beautiful Life" by Gui Boratto
All joking aside, Brazilian producer Gui Boratto makes seriously gorgeous electronic music. His latest album, The K2 Chapter, is glitchier than some of his past work, and it's great for a good burn, but his 2007 hit "Beautiful Life" remains the all-time-greatest long-distance-running song. With cascades of sound, pulses of rainbow-like chords, and an arrangement that builds steadily and naturally to a peak, it'll take you miles—if you put it on loop, you might never stop running.
