WHY NOBODY READS THIS GUY'S THEATER BLOG

DEAR MERCURY—This was the blog I wrote. I thought I might share it with you folks since it's... well, about you. I hope it's clear I don't know or care if Temple Lentz is a man or a woman:

"Thankfully, NWCTC doesn't try to 'update' Shakespeare, and we're saved from the kind of 're-visioning' that so many companies fall prey to. NWCTC's Artistic Director Grant Turner is committed to letting the plays speak for themselves, diligently stripping back any ostentatious production elements to focus on character, performance, and language."—Temple Lentz on Troilus and Cressida [Arts, July 31]

When I did a show with these fine folks some months back, I was informed that Mr. Turner avoids politics in his theater. The plays, as this reviewer notes, will speak for themselves. Troilus and Cressida, he also notes, is considered one of Shakespeare's "problem plays"—which is to say it's bad for mass consumption. A problem play spoken simply would seem to create a larger problem, no? [This letter is so fucking tedious, we're going to skip down a bit, okay?—Ed.] So, this is his reasoning: It's a problem play, but they do a good job because they don't "re-vision" and so you're left with—by her concession—a dry philosophical treatise with half-baked characters and a cynicism the color of a black hole. [SNORE! Omigod, this letter is so boring I want to stab my face off! Skipping!—Ed.] Moreover, what Shakespeare could be more applicable to today? This play precedes Brecht by a good 400 years—but its viewpoint isn't much different than Mother Courage: In war, we're all just a commodity... [SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!—Ed.]

Gregory Heaton

WE'LL PASS ON THE KELP

GREETINGS—Regarding "Take Your Pick," Feature, July 31. Wakey! KBOO put the "trot" in Trotsky, the "Rx" in Marx, and the Pickathon on the Portland air. Insouciant young Mr. [Ned] Lannamann put his foot in his mouth when he implied that the Pickathon improved when KBOO became less involved. Taste Kelp!

Chris Andreae

SINISTER SCIENCE

DEAR MERCURY—Well-written piece ["Selling Scientology," Feature, Aug 7]. I'm equally impressed with Mr. Hawkins' decision to speak out against such an oppressive organization. One does not need to dig deep anymore to find the truth of the argument against this bait-and-switch scam disguised as a business disguised as a church. The current management and leadership of Scientology have turned the eccentric beliefs of a science-fiction writer into a profiting and racketeering cult of epic proportions.

Posted by Steve Daily on Selling Scientology

HAIL TO THE KING

DEAR MISTER MERCURY—Your article on the so-called "King of the KJs" [Feature, July 31] is a rotten, maggot-filled bloated pile of filthy corpse guts. Why not at least give a nod to the father of KJs? I mean the one and only Rocky Rhodes. HE BROUGHT KARAOKE TO PORTLAND.

Miss A

HEY MISS A, thanks for your KJ recommendation. Surely every KJ can be the king of his own castle. We applaud your plucky decision to show fealty to yours. You win the Merc's letter of the week, as well as two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish! Go Fish!, where it's not usually necessary to sing for your supper. But it helps.