STRAIGHT DOPE

DEAR MERCURY—Yes, there's a stigma surrounding drug use ["Dazed and Confused," Letters, Nov 18]. It's good to hear that you're just too tough to suffer from all these stigmatized problems of addiction. But I've known people, good people, who have ruined their lives over that crap, died because of that crap, become a sick and crying mess in the streets over that crap, many of them dealing with mental, emotional, financial, bereavement issues along with the addictions. You're calling my friends—and a long, worldwide history of suffering—isolated incidents and insignificant, but something tells me you're not so tough after all. You like your life as an addict that much? I bet you're always out there enjoying life.

-Evan

DUMBASS!

The real Aron Ralston was actually a major DUMBASS ["Rock, Blood, and Bone," Film, Nov 18]. He went off rock hopping in the wild and told NO ONE where he was—DUMBASS! He didn't bother to bring a cell phone with him—DUMBASS! He brought almost NO provisions because he assumed he'd only be gone for a few hours—DUMBASS! Apparently, when he finally did free himself, he was still eight miles from his truck. So the guy goes on a nature walk for eight goddamn miles in a near-desert environment in MAY and has just ONE bottle of water?! DUMBASS! The guy quit his job as a mechanical engineer at Intel so he could "climb all the mountains in Colorado." DUMBASS! According to his Wiki page, Ralston now makes his living as a "corporate" speaker and makes between $25,000-37,000 each time people come and listen to his dumb ass talk. Yeah, you know what's awesome? Having TWO arms!

-posted by DamosA on portlandmercury.com

MERELY A FLESH WOUND

DEAR MERCURY—Skinning your knee counts as a "traumatic or serious injury" ["Broken While Biking," News, Nov 18]? For chrissakes, I skin my knee in bed, you pansies. Why not adopt a more rigorous methodology that can actually distinguish between that which can be fixed with an ironic unicorn/steak/pirate band-aid, and that which actually represents an imposition on somebody's life?

-Pat Martin

NOT ALL BIKES ALIKE

DEAR MERCURY—Your story: "OHSU Study: 22 Percent of Bikers Injured Annually ["Broken While Biking," News, Nov 18]. Wow, was I ever surprised to hear that! So I did what anyone like me with a ton of BIKER friends would do. I picked up the phone and called members of the "Gypsy Jokers." I called members of the "Mongols." How about the "Outsiders"? Nope, still no injured BIKERS. Maybe it is those crazy clean and sober guys "Solutions Motorcycle Club." Still no luck. Well it must be the "Flying Fifteen." Damn, not a single injury. Are you guys mistakenly calling, or, is this town so gay-heartedly weak that you think the rider of a bicycle is called a biker and not a bicyclist? Either way, I am going to get on my MOTORCYCLE (that's what BIKERS ride), go down to McDonald's and ask the CHEF to make me some french fries.

-Wendell Cunningham

WHAT, NO PHONE call for SFRC? That's cold. And while technically "biker" can refer to either type of rider, we know where you're coming from. It's like the internet stole "FTW" all over again. So please accept two tickets to the Laurelhurst Theater and lunch at No Fish!, Go Fish!, where well-behaved 10 percenters are welcome 80 percent of the time!