This inordinate amount of rain got you feeling down, drowned and droopy? What about the exorbitant blather of politics - got you distressed and feeling done?? Well fear not! On Sunday, womenâs professional soccer returns to the soggy city! Imagine, upwards of TWO WHOLE HOURS with which you can forget the current state of waterlogged misery and despair! LETâS PUT THE âROSEâ BACK IN MOROSE!
WHERE WE ARE COMING FROM
Thorns ended last season in absolute heartbreak. Feel free to refresh yourself by reading THE SADDEST OF ALL BLOG POSTS. There are parts of that game that I STILL work hard to forget. The agony of losing the semi final game after a season of such success. I carried such a bold certainty to the stadium that day- A blind confidence, if you will, comparable only to that of me skipping around Portland in my pantsuit on Tuesday November 8, 2016. BOY WAS I OFF- WAY OFF!
But I am not going to let that keep me from feeling boldly optimistic about the 2017 season! WE ARE ABOUT TO BOUNCE BACK! Much of last years squad is returning for another year in the Rose City - Including a HEALTHY HANDFUL of USWNT professionals that have been playing together for over a year now and are HANGRY for a championship. And donât forget- the Olympics are over and that HEALTHY HANDFUL of players will not be pulled away for excessive national play.
FAN KICKS AND SWISH SPLITS!
And look, pouty pants, even though the championship went to Western New York last year, Thorns FC won the shield with 12 wins, 5 draws and only 3 losses.
PUT THAT INTO YOUR VICTORY PIPE AND LEGALLY SMOKE IT
THE LINEUP AND THE LET DOWN
There were a few changes to our roster this year. Nothing too major- after all, why mess with near perfection- right? WINK SMILE SQUAT REPEAT
Kat Williamson retired and Mackenzie Berryhill is now with the Orlando Pride. Oh, and one other minor change... Goalkeeper, Michelle Betos is no longer with the Thorns. BETOS IS GONE. No, sheâs not dead, sheâs just off to do other things... in another city... in Norway... with other fans... and another snarky sassy soccer blogger. In words of Nancy Kerrigan WHYYYYYY??????!!!?
I donât know why she moved on. But I do know that I got teary eyed watching some of her "Save of the week" videos and best save montages from years past. Maybe listening to Sarah McLachlanâs âI Will Remember Youâ in the background was a little âToo Indulgentâ as my therapist might say. I just canât believe sheâs gone, you know. Just up and left. I mean, she said a goodbye on twitter, but come on... twitter? BETOS COME BACK
DON'T POOP YOUR PRIUS
Itâs going to be ok- Iâve taken some time (and a handful of pills) to really think about this debilitating news. Letâs count our blessings shall we?
1.Adrianna Franch is back - remember the six games that she played in last year when Betos was injured?
IT WAS A HASHTAG SALAD OF DELIGHT!
2.Thorns added Britt Eckerstrom to the roster. She played in three games for the Western New York Flash in 2016 and was the first goalkeeper chosen from the 2015 draft. Sheâs hot potatoes folks!
3.Coach Parsons and his staff have also added Tyler Lussi a forward drafted from Princeton and Caroline Flynn a midfielder out of Nebraska. Welcome to Soccer City USA!
4. Tobin Heath, Christine Sinclair and Meghan Klingenberg are still major components of the Thorns team. Along with French super force, Amandine Henry, dynamo forward Nadia Nadim and Australian forward Hayley Raso.
Coming up...
Thorns FC will host a spring Invitational where they will play the Chicago Red Stars, Houston Dash and the U23 US National Team. The first game is Sunday March 26 at 5pm. In addition to our set roster, a group of five players from around the country will be doing their best to impress in attempt to earn a spot on the regular roster.
Our regular season play will begin Saturday April 15 against Orlando here, in Portland at Providence Park.
@erinjeanius