Coworkers after a long workday.
Coworkers after a long workday. Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC

The Portland Thorns clobbered the Utah Royals 2-0 on Friday night, giving Portland their second straight win and their first victory in Providence Park since April 15. AGGRESSIVE FAN KICKS — THE GALS IN RED ARE CRUSHING IT!
This was the second time Portland played Utah. The Thorns traveled to Utah in April and pulled a 1-1 draw on the road. This is Utah’s first year in the league, and while they've only had two wins since their season started, there are no guaranteed wins in the NWSL.
Friday night with the one(s) you love. RCTID
Friday night with the one(s) you love. RCTID Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC

A FABULOUS FRIDAY NIGHT
The Thorns DOMINATED the first half with passing precision, fancy footwork, and super sassy snapbacks into defense. Five-star favorite, Christine Sinclair was the first to score, only 18 minutes into the game. She started the ball at midfield and passed it to Tobin Heath, who provided a few beats of footwork finesse which bought Sinclair enough time to get further up the field. Heath again found Christine Sinclair who blasted the ball with her left foot into the goal. TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAMWORK... AND SO DOES HAVING HEATH AND SINCLAIR WORKING IN HARMONY.
Tobin Heath, AKA Tobs-lerone, played all 90 minutes plus extra time with the Thonrs on Friday! HOW SWEET IT IS!
Tobin Heath, AKA Tobs-lerone, played all 90 minutes plus extra time with the Thonrs on Friday! HOW SWEET IT IS! Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC

Sinclair leads the league in goals with a whopping SIX so far this season. SHE’S A GOAL SCORING MANIAC! And to all those Negative Nellies that LOVE to talk about how Sinclair is getting old and past her prime — ZIP IT... THE ADULTS ARE TALKING. 36 isn’t the new 20—36 is the new kicking your ass.

Sometimes hard work pays off in goals and action shots and not in perfectly poised pics.
Sometimes hard work pays off in goals and action shots and not in perfectly poised pics. Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC

It was terrific to see the Thorns score first. My glee was elevated to disproportionate levels in the 39th minute when another flawless cross from Meghan Klingenberg met the knee of Lindsey Horan for a second goal. GRAND JETES AND HORSEPLAY—THESE WOMEN KNOW HOW TO GET IT DONE!
Lets remake that 1984 movie, Firestarter and use this as the movie poster.
Let's remake that 1984 movie, Firestarter and use this as the movie poster. Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC

The second half was not as hashtag blessed with goals as the first, but it was just as exciting! This game had it all: two Thorns' goals! Some TREMENDOUS saves by Thorns goalie, Britt Eckerstrom! A handful of “almost goals” from the Thorns, including a crossbar deflection AND a near goal FACE BLOCKED by a Utah player—OUCHY MAMA! Some pushin’ and shovin’ on the field that was stopped when Christine Sinclair broke things up—SHE FINDS GOALS AND PEACE ON THE FIELD!

But my personal game climax arrived with the tremendous defensive show of force flexed by Meghan Klingenberg in the 43rd minute. This bottle rocket defender deflected a quick, close range, can’t miss goal from one of Utah’s most threatening assets, Amy “A- Rod” Rodriguez. Thorn’s goalie, Britt Eckerstrom made an attempt to block but it was Kling who was ready with deflecting kick. ACCESS DENIED!

ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT’S ME, THE THORNS
There comes a time in every team’s season when things start to change. The changes are subtle at first, but then things all start to come together and bloom. Something is changing with the Thorns. Things are really starting to click and plays are developing into full-blown goals. Newer players like Purce and Crnogorcevic are finding where they fit in this fantastic lineup. And the most experienced players seem to be learning how to best support these more recent additions. The Thorns are shuffling things up and looking all the more sharper with new formations and a stronger, more consistent midfield. I'm excited to see where we go from here.

This was Coach Mark Parsons 50th NWSL game. Here ia picture of his face real close up.
This was Coach Mark Parsons 50th NWSL game. Here ia picture of his face real close up. Photo courtesy of Portland Thorns FC

WACKY WEDNESDAY
The Thorns have another home game on Wednesday when they face the undefeated North Carolina Courage. Yes, the same Courage that the Thorns defeated in the championship match in 2017. Currently, the Thorns are seated in the fourth spot in the standings just below Orlando. The Thorns are in a perfect spot to buck the Courage into their first loss of the season. DO NOT MISS IT. There are still tickets available! GET THEM HERE!
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