You may be thinking to yourself, "There are plenty of reasons to hate Alison Hallett." WELL, YOU'RE WRONG. There are maybe only a couple of reasons to hate her, none of which include that she's an "anti-Semite" (which she's not) or an "art criminal" (which she may be... but who gives a shit?).

Theater people are a notoriously touchy and insecure bunch—I should know, I'm one on occasion—but when they get a middling, so-so review such as the one Alison gave Portland Center Stage's Futura? A commenter really brings the drama!

BOO-HOO-HOO! Way to go, Alison! Your continual "art crimes" against humanity have unceremoniously MURDERED the American theater, and… wait. Just a second... (murmur, murmur)… what's that? You're saying the American Theater has been dead for almost 40 years? Hmmphh! Well, in that case, Ms. Hallett—you are free to go. But any more "art crime" shenanigans and you're going straight to art jail!

Then there was her even more damning review of The Jewish Theatre Collaborative's production of Charlotte Salomon's Life? Or Theatre? in which Alison wrote, "I can't forgive a lack of narrative tension so utter that at one point I actually thought, 'Oh, thank god, the Nazis. That means it's ending soon.'"

HAHAHAHAAA! Uh-oh! Now I could cut and paste some of the comments, but you'd be much better served by hopping over to the story, and reading the fireworks for yourself—if for no other reason than to see someone say, "I'm glad to hear that the point wasn't to cheer on the arrival of the Nazis." (Now if the Nazis had made American theater their target, that might've been something to actually cheer!)

Feel free to discuss legitimate reasons to hate Alison Hallett in the comments below.