Dan Savage

Cisgender bi-female late forties, living in the Bay Area. My boyfriend and I have been dating six months and are very much in love. His friends party quite a bit, lots of drinking and other party favors, and we all enjoy feeling good on the dance floor. The first time I met one of his […]

1. Is Donald Trump a gay man? I can’t think of anything that screams “closeted gay” louder than building a golden ballroom. Donald Trump has been married to three different women (two of whom were immigrants), he’s been credibly accused of sexual harassment and assault by dozens of women, and he was found liable — […]

I’m gay and go to a small liberal arts school. I have a crush on this one guy, but he brought up — unprompted — that he’s Aro/Ace. I really like him. We have great conversations in a lab we have together, and I think he’s super attractive. But every time I’ve tried to extend […]

The person who introduced me to you — my wife — is the source of my woes. We have a child and a lovely home and financial security. But the issue is my feelings of sexual dissatisfaction. My wife suffers from health issues that make sex painful. I never pressure her, and her wellbeing is […]

I’m a straight male who is not well endowed — I’m at the edge of the scale used to describe average penis size — and I watch porn both alone and with my wife. I suddenly find myself becoming more and more fascinated with larger penises. Specifically: What is it like to have one? Like […]

1. I’m a 34-year-old woman who has been with a man I really enjoy for three years. There are a few reasons I don’t think we’re going to last forever. Most importantly: I’m not planning to have kids. He knows that but he wants them. Do I cut it off or let it run its […]

The fact that I’m in an LTR with a partner who knows I’m bi, is fine with me exploring with other guys, allows to me seeing professional dominants, and has experimented with me over the course of our relationship is probably all down to what I have learned reading your column and listening to your […]

Flashback: My last serious girlfriend was kinky. I am pretty vanilla — I’m not a natural sub — but I was game. We got into D/s play, and we went to some big fetish parties together. Her favorite “foreplay” was having me kneel between her legs while she showed me guys on dating apps she’d […]

I’m a bi girl in a serious relationship with a bi guy, and said bi guy has a major thing for being cucked. We’ve had a few threesomes before, but only with bisexuals and the focus was on all three of us equally. Recently, though, we had a 2-on-1 threesome with a straight guy, and […]

1. How’s anal with someone with pearls in their dick? I’m getting some installed soon. You’re referring to pearling, a body modification where small pearl-like beads are inserted under the skin of the penis. Post-pearling, your cock — to the untrained eye (read: most eyes) — is gonna look like it’s covered in cysts that […]