Dan Savage

I’m a divorced man and have been dating a married woman in an open/poly relationship for six months. Her husband has been occupied with his new girlfriend. As a result, his wife has been spending a lot more time with me. She’s feeling (understandably) abandoned by her husband, and I’m picking up that slack. While […]

I am a 22-year-old woman, generally happy, but I have a problem with cheating. My peers seem to have no problems staying faithful, but I do. I have never been faithful to anyone, and I have had many relationships with men and women. Some found out, some didn’t. I have finally found someone I feel […]

There was a piece in the New York Times last weekend about the debate in the queer community—particularly in the lesbian community—over gender-reassignment surgery. Lots of formerly butch lesbians now identify as “transmen.” The strangest revelation was that after one member of a lesbian couple became a man, they were able to get legally married […]

My 34-year-old sister, call her “Carrie,” came out to the family a week ago and is looking for us all to support the decisions she’s making surrounding her coming out. Background: My sister has been somewhat happily married for 14 years and has four children all under the age of 12. She wants to move […]

I love your column, it’s always a good read. But don’t ya think last week’s column was maybe a bit… bitter? And the one before that? I think you should be allowed to get married, Dan. If a stand-up family guy like you isn’t allowed to marry the man that he’s been with for… what, […]

I was dating an amazing guy—smart, funny, caring, and interesting. I just wasn’t that attracted to him. I enjoyed hooking up with him, but it was never one of those, “Oh man, I just have to have you” things. Enter my good friend, who I’d been harboring a crush on for quite some time. I […]

I am about to marry a caring and intelligent man, an amazing lover, a total stud, beyond well endowed, someone who “gets” me in a way. Here’s the problem: I have a ferocious sex drive, to the point where three to five times a day is good and more is better. The beauty of our […]

I met a guy through a BDSM chatroom. It seemed like the perfect no-risk adventure sex—he’s dom, I’m sub; he’s sexy as all get-out, I’m fat in all the places he likes girls to be fat. So we hook up. But instead of the one-time adventure I was expecting, we hook up again and again. […]

My boyfriend of three years has a lower libido than I do and rarely wants to do anything sexual. For a variety of reasons, I will not DTMFA. We no longer have arguments about this, but I do feel a bit lonesome for the type of physical contact he won’t provide. Now comes the dirty […]

I am a femalein my 20s and will soon be marrying my boyfriend of four years. We met overseas via a personals site, and while most things are great between us, we do have one issue: group sex. He wants it, I don’t. After we met, my fiancé brought up the idea of group sex, […]

In my 26 years, I’ve had my fair share of relationships. I’m usually the one spooning up advice to friends hungry for wisdom. Sadly, I’m helpless to aid myself in my current situation. I met this girl four months ago, and she’s “the girl of my dreams.” If you met her, you would know that […]