Ok, so I lied. Sengoku Basara is not actually Japanese for “Is that guy carrying an anchor?” but explaining that Capcom’s decision to use the original Japanese name for their upcoming Dynasty-Warriors-meets-Devil-May-Cry action game almost guarantees that it’s going to be ignored by the mass market it needs to turn any kind of profit, so […]
Earnest "Nex" Cavalli
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Sony Debuts “Kung-Fu LIVE” (or “This Again? Really?”)
PAX was this past weekend and per usual it saw the big three console companies shilling their latest and greatest to a few thousand people excited to simply be in the same auditorium as Wil Wheaton and Felicia Day. Nintendo had Kirby knitting shawls for the elderly, Microsoft had a new set of space marines […]
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Telltale Games Delivers This Week’s ‘What The Crap?’ Teaser Trailer
Pop quiz hotshot: What’s the connection between Homestar Runner’s Strongbad, Team Fortress 2’s Heavy, Tycho from Penny Arcade and Max from the Sam And Max series of adventure games? If you answered, “I have no idea and that … that makes me … so ANGRY!! RAWWWWWRGGGH!! HULK SMASH!” before jumping through a solid pane of […]
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Mega Man Online Presents: KAIJU YELLOW DEVIL!
Poorly veiled racial slight? Hilariously misplaced memetic snafu? The sexiest amorphous killer blob robot since Robert Patrick squinted hard enough to permanently turn his Euclidean mug into a log splitter? I don’t care. I just do not, can not care. This trailer — the first for Mega Man Online (a game whose working title manages […]
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Your Daily Reminder That Dead Rising 2 Will Be The Greatest Game Ever
Capcom “They drew first blood, not me.” Dead Rising 2 hits the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and Windows PC platforms on September 28.
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Virtual Soles: For When Humping Real Feet Is Too Intimidating
Do you like videogames? Do you like dainty lil’ tootsies, trapped and fermenting in the dark, hot cave that is the average woman’s shoe? Would you like to liberate all those gorgeous feet, but simply can’t face up to the idea of having to interact with the (no doubt grateful) ladies attached to said sexy […]
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ATD23: The Best Street Fighter Mixtape You’ll Hear Today
Gamers, fans of video games, people who game — whatever dumb label you wanna slap on the group of people most likely reading this Blogtown entry — have long compiled hundreds of hours of their lives and whatever meager creative talents they might imagine they have to homage, enshrine and worship their favorite games. No […]
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First Footage: Street Fighter X Tekken In Action
Straight out of the ongoing Gamescom conference comes the first gameplay footage of the upcoming Capcom/Namco Bandai fisticuffs orgy Street Fighter X Tekken. Unsurprisingly, Ryu/Chun Li vs Kazuya/Nina looks a whole lot like a slightly grittier Super Street Fighter IV crossed with a more two-dimensional Tekken 6 while giant Servbot heads and spare wreckage from […]
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Critical Kissyface: What Did I Do To Deserve This, My Lord?!?
NIS America Scope the wicked awesome rack on that Lillith, Broseph Gordon-Levitt! Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a review. What Did I Do To Deserve This, My Lord?!? has already been sequelized, and even a review of What Did I Do To Deserve This, My Lord?!? 2 would be several months late at this […]
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Fox News Vs. Medal Of Honor
Warning: If you buy video games, read about video games or play video games specifically to escape politics, you should probably skip this post. It contains wildly uninformed middle-aged women arguing against things they’ve never experienced, Fox News’ rigorous standards of fair and balanced reporting and subject matter directly dealing with our current fracas in […]
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Gaming News Crumbs: Tennis, Trebuchets and Tauren
As we slowly drift out of summer — Can someone send Ra a memo on that one? I’m sweating like Anubis in a Baptist church. — and into the interminably long holiday season, gaming news goes from a steady trickle to a deluge capable of wiping out small Panamanian villages. Today is no exception, according […]
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Review: Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
Ubisoft Wuv. Twue Wuv. What happens when I miss a deadline for the print version of The Merc, yet have to do something to avoid my text becoming antiquated? It appears on Blogtown, where the pretension is 20 percent less likely to give you a paper cut! This latest bit of gaming criticism covers Scott […]