When we started the Mercury in 2000, we had one goal in mind: ridding Portland of every stinking hippie. With the last remaining few hippies safely imprisoned on Hawthorne, we now have the luxury of turning our attention to other nagging annoyances. While the following 20 things may have been popular in 2004, now it’s […]
Erik Henriksen
With honor and distinction, Erik Henriksen served as the executive editor of the Portland Mercury from 2004 to 2020. He can now be found at henriksenactual.com.
Posted inMovies & TV
Outside of Iraq
The Occasional Insight of Inside Iraq
Inside Iraq dir. Shiley Opens Fri Dec 31 Cinema 21 I suppose I should take Mike Shiley’s word for what Iraq is like. After all, he’s actually been there, whereas all I do is sit on my ass reading The New York Times and bitching. But after watching Inside Iraq, Shiley’s documentary/memoir about his time […]
Posted inMovies & TV
A Red Cap and a Speedo
Wes Anderson’s Euphoric Life Aquatic
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou dir. Anderson Open Sat Dec 25 Various Theaters Around this time every year, film critics inevitably start making lists and grand proclamations. “The best picture of the year!” “The front-runner for the Oscars!” “An astounding tour de force from [insert star/director here]!” But despite all the pseudo-educated, name-dropping cinema […]
Posted inMovies & TV
I’m Staying Home
Cinematic Confections
No, we’re not talking about the eye candy of Lindsay Lohan or Jude Law. This is the real thing: Sweet, sweet candy, melting in the mouths of our favorite movie stars in long, loving shots provided by filmmakers lining their pockets with product placement dough. Nothing says “great cinema” like kid-targeted commercialism running amok in […]
Posted inUncategorized
A History of “Delicious”
The Mercury‘s Timeline of Candy–from Pre-History to That Crappy Candy Bar You Had Last Week
1 Billion B.C. Cavemen raid beehives, gorging themselves on honey. Scientists believe resulting “sugar rush” enabled early man to enslave, domesticate, and then systematically murder all dinosaurs. 0 B.C. Christ gets frankincense and myrrh for birthday, which are not edible, and not what he specifically asked for (candy). 32 years later, he dies–allowing […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Not Quite Heroic
But Still a House Worth Visiting
House of Flying Daggers dir. Zhang Open Fri Dec 17 Fox Tower It was, of course, too good to be true: Rumors of a Chinese martial arts film from director Yimou Zhang that would trump Hero. Zhang’s Hero had already made a fair amount of mincemeat out of America’s favorite high-flying martial arts epic, Crouching […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Terminal Cuteness
Audrey Tautou Has A Very Long Engagement
A Very Long Engagement dir. Jeunet Opens Fri Dec 17 Fox Towera A Very Long Engagement is directed by Amélie‘s Jean-Pierre Jeunet, and it stars Amélie‘s Audrey Tautou–which tells you pretty much all you need to know. A quick glance at the film’s poster–showcasing idealized imagery, drenched in sepia tones and golden sunlight–nails the film’s […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Mercury Video Picks
The King Returns… Again
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Special Extended DVD Edition) dir. JacksonNow Available Grossing over $2.9 billion worldwide, The Lord of the Rings trilogy was lauded by audiences and critics alike. Now, the last and best of the films, The Return of the King, has made its second appearance on DVD. […]
Posted inMovies & TV
What’d You Expect?
Of Course It’s Cool. It’s Ocean’s Twelve.
Ocean’s Twelve dir. Soderbergh Open Fri Dec 10 Various Theaters It’s impossible not to like Ocean’s Twelve. Okay, not impossible, I guess–but it would be really, really hard. Movies like this are engineered to be liked–they aren’t trying to change the world, or win awards, or really be anything more than exceedingly well done distractions. […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Shit Yeah! Blade’s Back!
Which is Awesome! Sort Of!
Blade: Trinity dir. Goyer Now Playing Various Theaters It’s a position I’ve often been mocked for, but I’ll stand by it until the day I die: Blade II kicks ass. Benefiting from low expectations due to its mediocre predecessor, Guillermo del Toro’s 2002 sequel was an adrenaline rush of hyper-stylized action. Wesley Snipes kicking ass […]
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The 2004 Drunk Olympics
Three Mercury Reporters Go for the Gold (Unsurprisingly, They Had to Get Drunk First)
Hockey? Dreary. Running? Lame. Shot put? Please. If the 2004 Olympics taught us anything, it’s that the Olympics are wholly and unequivocally boring. In response to the 2004 Olympics, the geniuses at the Mercury came up with a far better, more compelling challenge of athletic and mental prowess and endurance to pass the long days […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Too Close for Comfort
Love and Romance Get Ugly in Closer
Closerdir. Nichols Open Fri Dec 3 Various Theaters Anytime a sane person hears the words “love” or “romance” used to describe a film, it should serve as a fucking red-alert klaxon–heralding softly lit, slo-mo images of laughing, dancing and holding hands, where quirky cuteness and wry, adoring comments serve as both currency and virtue for […]