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Posted inMedia

The Ellmyer Strikes Back!

ELLMYER: Mercury! I am your father! Former senate candidate and exhausting rabble-rouser Richard Ellmyer nipped at the heels of Portland’s media over the controversy surrounding a recent electoral endorsement in his most recent posting on the Portland Sentinel, after calling the Mercury “poisonous” in a previous post: Quite unbelievably, Bob Caldwell, the editorial page editor […]

Posted inCourts

Oregon Supreme Court Assaults Measure 11

The Oregon Supreme Court decided today that Measure 11’s mandatory minimum sentences were unconstitutional in two specific cases. In cases against Veronica Rodriguez and Darryl Anthony Buck, the court upheld their convictions but deemed their mandatory 75-month sentences for first degree sexual assault to be unconstitutional. In Rodriguez’s case, she was convicted of sexual assault […]

Posted inMedia

When Lars Attacks!

I just spoke to Lars Larson! Like, in real life! I called to talk about this recent “When Lars Attacks”-worthy tweet: Classy. I asked Lars what Adams’ sexuality had to do with city road repairs and if he thought the statement was homophobic. Lars was glib: “I’m not afraid of homosexuals. I’m afraid of pedophiles,” […]

Posted inNews

Good Morning, News!

Obama hammers Iran at the U.N. Isn’t that a requirement for membership? Obama gives British Prime Minister the cold shoulder. Five times. WTF? YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HEAVEN! It doesn’t matter if you don’t commit suicide: you killed your wife and your five children. Vote for me! Memo to future U.S. Presidents: I don’t […]

Posted inNews

Good Morning, News!

The plot thickens as New Haven, Conn. police arrest a lab tech in connection with a Yale student’s murder. Good news! America’s first-time jobless claims dropped, putting the number at a low, low half-million people! United States bails on plans for a long-range missile defense shield in Europe. Certain to leave us all helpless. Space […]

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