“Mother, I Can Feel the Soil Falling Over My Head” I hummed the Smiths’ “I Know It’s Over” as the dirt collapsed percussively all around me. Due to the coffin floor’s slight belling beneath my unsupported weight, the box’s lipped lid didn’t quite seal correctly—the slight light leaks forcing me to cover my face as […]
Zac Pennington
Posted inMusic
Bottle Rockets
The Go! Team Get Off the Internet
The internet fucking blows. I mean sure—it’s got a pretty good publicist or whatever, but when all of the hootin’ and hollerin’ everybody’s always making about the
Posted inMusic
The New Cocaine
System of a Down and the Dangers of Irony
If you keep your tongue firmly lodged in cheek most of the time, you’re eventually going to slip up and bite it. That’s one of
Posted inMusic
It’s Who You Know
Biopics
Following Jamie Foxx’s Oscar-winning Ray Charles impression last year (By the way, would someone please ask him to stop?), conventional Hollywood wisdom seems to suggest that the best way for celebrities to grab a golden statue from the Academy is to eternally sully the legacy of a celebrated musician with a feel-good, upliftingly short-sighted biopic. […]
Posted inMusic
It’s Who You Know
The Last Ashlee Simpson Column Ever
Arriving just after 9:30 pm at the surprisingly sparse Roseland entrance, it was difficult to swallow the sickening, shameful realization that immediately clouded around me: I am a 24-year-old man, alone, lingering nervously outside of an Ashlee Simpson concert. No amount of under-population could possibly keep me from feeling like a total pedophile. Following what […]
Posted inMusic
Presenting Xiu Xiu
The Most Important Band in the World
Esteemed/reviled British rock historianJon Savage once said that all truly important music eschews sounds of the past for revelations of the future. It’s a perspective of particular relevance today, as virtually all critically acclaimed
Posted inMovies & TV
No Need to Pander
Settling For The Baxter
For those familiar with his resume, the idea of Michael Showalter—a prominent member of sketch comedy troupes Stella and the State—writing, directing, and
Posted inMovies & TV
Israeli Rockers, Preachy Ghosts
Succinct Reviews for the Discerning Cinephile
For a nation in which military service is mandatory beginning at the age of 18, it’s difficult
Posted inMusic
It’s Who You Know
Hawthorne Theater
Since closing its doors this past June, the venue formally known as Conan’s has been under a steady process of renovation by its new owners, the Hawthorne Entertainment Group. Finally opening for business just last week, the Hawthorne Theatre is a brand new all ages venue run by owner Nicholas Yannariello, who was kind enough […]
Posted inMusic
Goodbye, Cruel World
Don’t Cry For Me, Ashlee Simpson
As we are largely the source of their wealth, fame, and eternal happiness, it fits that the American public feels like self-appointed stockholders in the corporation of each celebrity
Posted inArt
Clear the Way for TBA
The Mercury’s Guide to Portland’s Biggest Arts Fest
Get yer TBA tickets! Get yer TBA tickets! The official TBA Box Office is in the PICA building, 1122 NW Glisan, and is the best place to hit up for tickets, which run from around $10 for individual events all the way up to a $500 Patron Pass that gives you full access to everything, […]