"There's an 80 percent chance I have herpes now!"

If you’re eating oatmeal right now, prepare to have a computer screen covered with oatmeal! BECAUSE YOU’RE TOTALLY GONNA SNORK IT AFTER SEEING JUSTIN BIEBER’S VANITY FAIR PHOTO SHOOT!!

Theres an 80 percent chance I have herpes now!
  • “There’s an 80 percent chance I have herpes now!”
Yarghhhh! Oh, Christ... how can I be having a stroke? IM ONLY SIXTEEN!!
  • “Yarghhhh! Oh, Christ… how can I be having a stroke? I’M ONLY SIXTEEN!!”

More after the jump!

What can I say? The ladies love my most recent essay on Descartes.
  • “What can I say? The ladies love my most recent essay on Descartes.”
Checkers, Pepsi, and Bitches: Aint Nuthin but a Beeb Thang
  • Checkers, Pepsi, and Bitches: Ain’t Nuthin’ but a Beeb Thang

via Vanity Fair

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)

5 replies on “Justin Bieber in <i>Vanity Fair</i>!”

  1. His decline into madness and drug abuse cannot be far off. Unless, that is, he’s really just a Japanese robot. Please tell me that he’s really just a Japanese robot.

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