Hi, Kids!
It’s me, Admiral Ackbar from that Star Wars movie. You know, I’m pretty good at figuring out traps. And now, you can learn the “11 Traps” adults use in their constant efforts to molest you. Please watch the following video about “Stranger Danger” and see if you can guess which of the following skeezy adults are setting traps for gullible children such as yourself. (Hint: It’s all of them.)
Wasn’t that educational, kids? By the way, did you know we’re shooting one of the new Star Wars movies in my windowless van across the street? Wanna be in it? C’mon! Let’s go!
He’s been an Admiral for at least 25 years! Shouldn’t he be retired yet? Maybe he is. I dunno. Is he coming to the next quiz night?
Dude, your don’t lose your rank just because you retire. He’s always going to be Admiral Akbar.
Hungry.
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars…
Ur mom’s a trap.
Thanks for keeping most of the galaxy safe once again Admiral.
Although on our planet, 90% of the molestation is perpetrated by someone the parents introduced into the child’s life and not a stranger*. Our pedophiles are usually quite charming and will place themselves in positions of trust in order to gain access to their sexual targets, like say, a mentoring city councilman or a basketball coach.
*In fact, most of the time on Terra, its a stranger who’s going to get the Terran child out of kludgfarn, er trouble.
That’s all well and good, but what if the guy in the slowly-driving-by car *is* a professional photographer who is about to change your life for the better? Won’t you always wonder? As the years roll by, and you are working your unmolested butt off at the grill at Burger King, aren’t you going to be tormented by thoughts of the lucrative child-modeling career that wasn’t? Nay, the lucrative child-modeling career that launched you into starring roles on situation comedies, direct-to-DVD feature films, and eventually, Kirk-Cameron-esque gigs as a renowned science popularizer? HMMM?