In our brief blip of existence, humankind has screwed up a bunch of stuff—like the environment, for example, or the concept of a functional and beneficial representative democracy. But despite our belligerent fumbling, we’ve excelled at one thing. One thing we can all agree is good, one thing we only get better at, one thing that keeps us, for now, from being complete failures:
Actually, make that two things, because also: Pizza Week.
That’s right: From April 16-21, the Portland Mercury’s Pizza Week is back! Along with our pals at Jim Beam and Tetra Cannabis (why yes, those two things do go well with pizza), the Mercury has teamed up with over 30 of Portland’s favorite restaurants to offer special, one-of-a-kind pizza slices all over town… and each slice is only $2 each! View the map of locations all around Portland.
Is Pizza Week the apex of human accomplishment? Yes. Are there some things you need to know before it starts? Also yes!
• Everyone loves Pizza Week. As well they should. But that means some Pizza Week spots will have lines, and others might even run out. In these trying times, take a deep breath, stay calm, and hit another Pizza Week location, or go back the next day when things are more chill. Either way, you’re getting pizza out of it, so it’s a win-win.
• Don’t forget to tip. (Even you, Apple Watch guy who won’t shut up about our “post-cash society,” and even you, Bitcoin guy who tries to buy everything with made-up money. IT IS NOT REAL MONEY, BITCOIN GUY.) An event as big and popular as Pizza Week takes a lot of work, and much of it is done behind the scenes—so tip well, and show your appreciation to the hard-working chefs, waitstaff, and feral monkeys we have perhaps unwisely equipped with razor-sharp pizza cutters.
• Order sides and drinks. Food scientists recommend that pizza only make up 95 percent of the average adult’s diet. Luckily, Pizza Week locations will also be serving all kinds of great sides and drinks. See? It’s easy to be healthy!
• At portlandpizzaweek.com, you’ll find even more details about Pizza Week—including an interactive map of all Pizza Week locations and live updates! And you can post and see even more about Pizza Week using #portlandpizzaweek on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.