South Korea announces THAAD program.
South Korea announces THAAD program. Chung Sung-Jun / Staff/ Getty Images News

Bob Woodward's new book on the Trump White House, Fear, is a never-ending fount of weirdness, hilarity, and horror. In one particularly interesting segment (for Portlanders), Trump pitched one of his famous hissy-fits when he discovered that a missile defense system that was placed in South Korea to protect it from North Korea was paid for, installed, and run by America.

Named after your college roommate, THAAD (Terminal High Altitude Area Defense System), was placed in South Korea and designed to block short range missiles from North Korea during a conflict in order to protect large urban areas (like Seoul) as well as the "tens of thousands of military personnel" that would be deployed from the US if the North were to start a war.

According to a selection of Woodward's book obtained by Newsweek, Trump was baffled by this reasoning and asked who paid for it. When national security adviser H.R. McMaster informed the president that the US would pay for, set up, and run the system, Trump went batshit nuts. He demanded to see on a map where the defense system would be located, and discovered that part of it was placed on a former golf course. From Newsweek....

“‘This is a piece of s*** land,’ said the former golf course and real estate developer. ‘This is a terrible deal. Who negotiated this deal? What genius? Take it out. I don't want the land.’ The major missile defense system might cost $10 billion over 10 years, and it wasn't even physically in the United States, Trump said. ‘F*** it, pull it back and put it in Portland!’ Trump railed, according to the book.

No one seems exactly sure why the president would choose Portland of all West Coast cities to put a missile defense system, especially when he's so woefully ignorant about military matters. However, maybe a poll will solve this mystery.