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GOOD MORNING, PORTLAND! Promise you, won't even have an attitude. I'll let you sit right next to me... don't join the list with the other fools. LET'S GO TO PRESS.
IN LOCAL NEWS:
• A severe COVID outbreak has swept through the Inverness Jail in Northeast Portland, infecting 107 inmates since last Thursday, largely due to inaction from jail officials and staff. Our Alex Zielinski has more on this deeply disturbing story.
Medical staff at Inverness Jail have raised concerns about officers not wearing masks for months.
Now, the Northeast Portland facility has been hit with a surge of more than 100 COVID-19 cases among its incarcerated population.
— Alex Zielinski (@alex_zee) February 2, 2021
NEWS: A federal judge in Oregon has ordered the state to offer prison inmates Covid-19 vaccines immediately. So far, 42 inmates have died and more than 3000 have tested positive. The ruling comes days after the deadliest month Oregon’s prison system since the pandemic began.
— Conrad Wilson (@conradjwilson) February 3, 2021
• Gov. Brown set the expectation that Oregon teachers would be vaccinated in two weeks so the state could get to the job of providing doses to the elderly. Surprise! That prediction didn't pan out, and it will take weeks to get even the second shot into educators.
• A new House bill introduced by Speaker Tina Kotek could put a damper on Mayor Wheeler's homeless sweeps, by allowing the houseless to camp on public land in the midst of a housing crisis.
• The pandemic has greatly affected all industries—especially the creators of pop culture. Our Blair Stenvick reviews movies, podcasts, music, and more in their new column called "Streaming the Pandemic" about works that are particularly informed by the lockdown (including the movie Locked Down)!
IN NATIONAL NEWS:
• As a beautiful, crystal clear example showing how divided and fucked up the GOP is, they are currently battling over who to punish more: QAnon and insurrection supporting crackpot Marjorie Taylor Greene or Liz Cheney, who had the audacity to vote to impeach Trump. (*deep satisfied sigh*) You hate to see it.
In a rare public statement, congressional aides are calling for Trump's conviction.
More than 370 Democratic aides issued the appeal, notable because congressional staff members rarely publicly express their own views. https://t.co/vOr5XgWcRN
— Kyle Griffin (@kylegriffin1) February 3, 2021
• As expected, Busy Bee Biden pooh-poohed the Republicans' laughably small COVID relief plan and is pushing Dems to go big and push through his aid package (and if some GOP members get trampled in the process... well, too bad, so sad).
EXCLUSIVE: On a call with House Democrats, Biden said he would not back down on a large COVID relief plan despite his "cordial" meeting with Republican Senatorshttps://t.co/iyDmoqP0wJ
— The Daily Beast (@thedailybeast) February 3, 2021
• It took a month longer than usual, but House Minority Turtle Mitch McConnell has finally seen the writing on the wall and has handed his gavel over to Chuck Schumer, allowing Democrats to take control of committee chairmanship.
• GOOD COVID NEWS, Y'ALL! According to Oxford University research, the AstraZeneca vaccine gives 76 percent protection from the coronavirus for up to three months, and after just one dose. (Comparatively, flu vaccines are effective 67 percent of the time.) Unfortunately a new virus mutation in the UK by the name of E484K has emerged and seemingly has the ability to limit the protection of vaccines, and has been given the whimsical nickname of "Eeek." (Too soon, funny scientists.)
• Dr. Anthony Fauci is warning people to stay away from Super Bowl parties for fear of causing another virus surge, to which some people responded, "Wait... they're having a Super Bowl this year?" (Okay, fine. "Some people" is me.)
• Jeff Bezos, Amazon's milder version of Lex Luthor, is stepping down from his position as CEO of the company and will be replaced by someone who thinks and acts exactly like him. Okay, so what was the point of that again?
* The Golden Globe nominees have been released with Mank, The Trial of the Chicago 7, and Nomadland leading the pack.
The 20 #GoldenGlobes TV nominations for @Netflix is nearly three times as many as its closest competitor, @HBO. Netflix beat its own record of 17 TV nominations, landing three of the five slots for best drama series with "The Crown," "Ozark" and "Ratched."https://t.co/fB7Ijt88V1
— AP Entertainment (@APEntertainment) February 3, 2021
• Today in "DEFUND CHRISTIANITY": "Second grade girl expelled from Christian school over girl crush, mom says."
• If you need "funny": There are tons of laughs and some hilarious nationally recognized comedians on deck for the next I, Anonymous Show, streaming into your eyes TONIGHT Wednesday, February 3!
• Let the bells ring and the confetti fall! The HUMP! 2021 Film Festival is NOW STREAMING ONLINE, featuring an array of hot 'n' horny amateur dirty flicks submitted by hot people like YOU. Get your tickets pronto!
• Now let's extend our eyes to the skies for the WEATHER: A
drier afternoon awaits with a high of 48!
• And finally, for those about to turn 25... here's what you can expect.