In the next few days, I’m going to have a very fit human orbiting my midsection with a measuring tape. Happy Valentine’s, Damewood. Here’s an update on how things have gone since I launched my quest for fitness glory. It turns out, I am always hungry. Even when I’m not, there’s a certain “I could […]
Blogs
Posted inEvents
It’s Happening Tonight!
HECKLEVISION—Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders get their jabs in onscreen during the Democratic Debate at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, while you can hurl hilarious jokes—via text, please—from the audience. Your scathing insults will appear on the Hollywood’s big screen while the candidates blather. There will be blood. SHELBY R. KINGHollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy, 6 […]
Posted inMercury staff
Last Chance! Mercury Calendar Editor Application Deadline is Tomorrow!
The Mercury is happy to announce we’re hiring an additional FULL TIME calendar editor to assist our already fantastic Bobby Roberts. COULD THIS PERSON BE YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW? If so, hurry up—the DEADLINE IS TOMORROW, FRIDAY, FEB 12. Help Wanted: Arts Calendar Editor We are looking for an energetic, hardworking, detail-oriented self-starter to […]
Posted inNews
The Definition of Insanity: Gay Republicans
Every four years gay Republicans slime out from under their rocks to remind us that the Democratic candidate wasn’t always perfect on LGBT issues. They then implicitly (and sometimes explicitly) pivot to this nonsensical argument: Since your guy/gal wasn’t always perfect on LGBT issues, the LGBT community should vote for the Republican who was terrible […]
Posted inTV
Who is the Best Gilmore Girls Boyfriend?
Moodboard With the Gilmore Girls revival in full swing, we some of us at the Mercury find ourselves asking that age-old question: Who is the best Gilmore Girls boyfriend? Now that we’re finally getting our dreamed-of Stars Hollow mulligan, who will ultimately win Rory’s heart? Our revered editor in chief, Wm. Steven Humphrey, says, “In […]
Posted inNews
Here Are More Detailed Maps of High Cadmium Levels in North and Southeast Portland
Michelle Mitchell Bullseye Glass’ facility, near SE Powell and 21st The Multnomah County Health Department is sharing new maps that highlight troubling cadmium exposure in North and Southeast Portland. The maps offer magnified views of a previous map that detailed elevated cadmium levels around Bullseye Glass and Uroboros Glass. Those two companies have come under […]
Posted inOh, You Parents!
Check Out the Newest Issue of True Parent—in a Mercury Box Near YOU!
If you’re a working class parent who’s doing your best to raise happy, healthy kids—rejoice! The new issue of True Parent magazine has hit the streets! If you’re unfamiliar, True Parent is the magazine for parents that focuses on diversity, advice, fun, and keeping things real. Here are just a few of the stories you’ll […]
Posted inI, Anonymous
Text and Subtext
Text: “Lost in the final hours of the occupation was the original motive for starting it: the imprisonment of Dwight and Steven Hammond. The militants didn’t mention the Harney County ranchers in the closing moments.” Subtext: “Oh, shit, those guys? Was that really why we were here? Our bad.” Text: “Michele Fiore gave this advice […]
Posted inMovies & TV
The Portland International Film Festival Is an Affordable Way to Stay Worldly—Even If You Never Leave PDX
KLOWN FOREVER An arthouse classic in which two total douchebags cause debaucherous havoc. The 39th annual Portland International Film Festival (PIFF) is consolation to the vacation-deprived set—those of us who actually have to live all the way through Portland’s winter. No cheating! What I mean is: No escape! Unless… There are a whopping 97 features […]
Posted inSex
Savage Love Letter of the Day: Using “Crazy” Like That Is So Gay, Dan, Really Lame
I am a longtime listener/reader/general admirer of yours. Largely credit my healthy, satisfying sex life to self-acceptance stemming from your advice. Lately, though, there’s one thing that’s been bothering me, and I notice it in nearly every episode of the podcast: Your go-to explanation for when someone does something shitty or even just kind of […]
Posted inNews
Update: The Malheur Refuge Standoff IS FINALLY OVER
Update, 11:20 am: IT IS OVER! The last standoff holdout, David Fry, walked out unharmed and was just arrested. Frye told negotiators he’d come out if the cops outside waiting for him yelled “hallelujah.” They (mercifully) did and Frye actually complied, walking out of the building. The other three occupiers—Jeff Banta, Sean Anderson, and Sandy […]
Posted inMusic
Treefort Announces Finalized 2016 Lineup
Rejoice—the full Treefort 2016 lineup has arrived! The festival, which will take place in Boise March 23-27th, has just announced the final wave of lineup additions, which includes 100+ new bands on the roster. It’s exciting to see a bunch of Portland bands heading to Idaho come March, including And And And, Loch Lomond, Summer […]