Blogs

As is typical, the powers that be will continue to fuck us in the ass and spit in our faces as they drive our world headlong into the fire. Wonderful. We get to pay for the idiotic Supreme Court to deadlock on everything for the next year, while the little cry babies in the Senate […]

If you’re driving through a parking lot, honk at a person(not me)crossing the street, it tells me everything I need to know about you. If we’re walking by each other, I barely brush your hand because your phone had important news, then you turn and call me an asshole, I really wanted to turn and […]

2 nutjobs on the bus. It may be better if you did think of them as “nutjobs on the bus.” One woman in the wheelchair at the priority seating, telling everyone boarding, to “stay out of her way, I need to see, keep on moving to the back.” Lady, we’re fucking crowded up in here. […]

Here we are, a couple decades into the trend where all the pasty white families whose grandparents fled the urban core have COME BACK. We’re here and we like it! It’s so quaint and authentic! It’s everything we were told a city should be— after we do a little remodeling, of course. It’s completely the […]

It’s totally legal to park in front of my house because yes, I don’t own the street. Yes, I am fully aware of this. I only made the request because you have plenty of space in front of your house. You were such a dick with your “I’ve been parking this way for 35 years […]

You love Yoga. You’re spiritual. You hate camping, men without shirts in photos, and semen. You avoid most solid foods and alcohol because “health is important” and have a that will . Besides, ‘meat is murder’. Your dietary junk science, Lululemon outfits, and pop spirituality, make you a fucking idiot. Dull as shit too since […]

You revel in “unconditional love” from your dog –even if it regularly pees and shits your carpet, demands all your attention, licks your crotch, spreads fleas and ticks, and regularly humps your leg and furniture. Yet you can’t accept the love and honesty adult human relationships require. Fitted with cynicism and self-loathing you’ve turned every […]

You’re 50-64 years old and look younger than your age “you’ve been told”. Have a sense of humor “your kids say”. “Fit”, despite being 50 lbs. overweight because of the job you hate and painful divorce you can’t let go of –even though you’re a gluten, alcohol and dairy free, vegan. You’re “ready for the […]