Two Nuts

2 nutjobs on the bus. It may be better if you did think of them as “nutjobs on the bus.”

One woman in the wheelchair at the priority seating, telling everyone boarding, to “stay out of her way, I need to see, keep on moving to the back.” Lady, we’re fucking crowded up in here. Not even rush hour and the 72 is packed. WTF? So I try to get out of her way, and stand next to the driver, and say to the driver, “does this lady own the bus.” Driver says she’s “just trying to see.” I say, “we’re all trying to see.” Then fucking lady keeps telling the driver to stop and never gets off, while I keep getting off the bus to make room for her. Fuck this. Fuck you lady.

Then on the 9, btw, fuck the 9 and fuck the 72, I’ll walk from division to powell next time. Well fuck the 4. I’ll walk from foster to powell next time on 82nd. Nah shit, I was tired, shit, maybe I’m the nut job.

So, fucking mafia man at the front of the bus keeps looking at everyone every millisecond at the back of the bus. We’re looking at him. I look at people looking at him. He sticks his finger in his ear and scratches, then sticks his finger in his nose. Still looking back at everyone. I finally take off my sunglasses and look straight at him, then he looks at me and say, “what you looking at?” Really? I know you’re too fucking thick in the brain to see what we see and have no sense of self consciousness. Then ingenious, he takes two coins and use them like tweezers for his tiny chin hairs. OMG!