Tonight at the Matador on Burnside, bartender Laura Caroll will be working her last shift. She’s been behind the bar at the storied Portland watering hole since 1970, pouring drinks for the thirsty dive bar denizens of Portland’s Westside. She’s worked through three changes of ownership, and has probably seen more hip young people try […]
Drunk
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Here’s a Little Warning from Masked Chong, You Guys. HEED IT!
So anyway, I’m thinking about hiring Masked Chong to defend our blog. He apparently has a cadre of Korean “Nat-si’s” on his payroll, and does a pretty good job of freaking me out—even though his sweater mask makes him look like one of those CG “Alvin and the Chipmunks.” However, if they’re looking for a […]
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My Oregon Craft Beer Month: Over
Well, the numbers below are what I have to show at the end of my Oregon craft beer month. Impressive? Nah. Fun? Hell yes! Number of beers consumed: 47Number of Breweries: 21Weight Gain Loss: 5 poundsBlog Posts: 31Sunburns: 1Lessons learned: Too many to count My last beer of the month will be Black Butte XXI […]
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Something You Cannot Un-See
At the 12 second mark you will recoil in horror. At the 54 second mark, your sperm will dry up, or your ovaries will fall out of your vagina. At 1:47, your brain will follow your ovaries, and dash out into the middle of traffic in a panic. And at 2:39, all life on earth […]
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My Oregon Craft Beer Month: Pilsners, Presidents, and High School Glory
No matter what you’ve thought of my endeavor this month, or the posts connected with said endeavor, I ask that you consider this one plea: Please, stop drinking lousy beer. This month I entered the jungle of craft beer and I drank deeply from those amber streams. I drank in the quiet of my living […]
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Best Divorce Proceedings Entrance EVER!
Remember Jill and Kevin, who planned and executed the most awesome wedding entrance ever? Well, their marriage apparently didn’t work out so good. But look, guys! Their divorce proceedings entrance is even BETTER! (Can’t wait until their funerals!) Thanks Jay!
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My Oregon Craft Beer Month: Nearly Finished
I gotta tell you, guys. It’s day 29 and the only thing I can muster is a Widmer Hef from the bottle as I sit in front of the tiny A/C in my living room. I’m not so much tasting the beer as existing with it. I’m in the beer and the beer is in […]
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My Oregon Craft Beer Month: Frosty Pints Revenge
I think that when the weather is as diabolic as it has been the last two days, there is indeed a reasonable debate about the merits of tasting your beer vs. drinking something that’s as cold as you can possibly get it. My experience tonight was with Widmer’s Drop Top Amber. I don’t think I’ve […]
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My Oregon Craft Beer Month: Heat Beaters
“Gosh, it’s hot.” How many times have you heard that today? How about, “Hey, hot enough for ya?” Yep. As the evening cools it will be necessary to find a place to have a beer. May I suggest something light with a lower alcohol content? Maybe something with a bit of hops brightness, but not […]
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My Oregon Craft Beer Month: Fort George
On Questionland, the Mercury’s on-line answer emporium, one questioner asked what there was to do while visiting Astoria, Oregon. There were standard answers: climb the Astoria column, track down locations from the Goonies, check out the only strip club in town. While all of that is well and good, I’d encourage anyone making the trip […]
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My Oregon Craft Beer Month: Hopworks
I dig Hopworks more with each of their beers I open. Last night, after a long drive to Seaside, Oregon, I cracked open a bottle of Deluxe Organic Ale (DOA). I’ll be honest. I wasn’t in the best environment for tasting. It was late; the motel room was, shall we say, “cheap”; the only cups […]
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My Oregon Craft Beer Month: Geek Out!
Rock Bottom’s Eat a Bale o’ Hops from the OBF program There are those who go to the Brewers Festival to get trashed, and there are those who go to the Brewers Festival to geek out. There are also those who go to the festival not knowing what they’re looking for, casting about for something […]