♥ QUEENKEISHA It’s been a rough few months, but between snuggle hibernation, wake ‘n Zelda, Europe dreaming, and cooperatively aging, I think we got this. FnA, love ♥ QUEERLY You are my new love, continue spreading the love and we will be there with you, all the way, free hugs and kisses to all, all […]
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Alphabetized Valentines: A – C
♥ 1/2 OF THIS LOBSTER Looking forward to more travel, hot tubs, porch time, inappropriate jokes & watching you listen to your wine glass, you dummy. Love, your bumblefuck ♥ 20TH CENTURY BOY I’ve loved you for 25 years and look forward to 50 more. You make the world a better place. ♥ AAMIAKNEDNA Hello […]
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Alphabetized Valentines: D – J
♥ D It’s been two years since we met on that island, and I still can’t stop thinking about your voice, your hands, that look you always give me. xoxo4ever ♥ D-TRIZZLE I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I can’t wait to make countless more double plays in the phonebooths of our […]
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The 2019 Mercury Reader Valentines
The Mercury loves LOVE! And every year we prove it by publishing YOUR most romantic, smoogey-woogey valentines for FREE. Did you get one this year? Oh, it’s very possible! Check out the valentines below, which are listed alphabetically for your convenience. For those who may have missed our February 8 print deadline, visit here for […]
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How Sexy Are Portland’s Soaking Pools? An Investigation.
Yakuza Hot Tub Meg Nanna As a haver of lady bits, I’ll start by telling you that the idea of fucking in a hot tub is garbage. Sure, it seems like it’s all warm and wet and partially clothed—but underwater P-in-V sex is an unlubricated nightmare and open season for a yeast infection, while oral […]
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Financial Survival Guide: How I Learned to Love Austerity
ALABASTER PIZZO Let’s imagine for a moment you really need a jet ski. (Of course, no one “needs” a jet ski unless they are a butthole, but bear with me.) You have an okay job that pays the bills, but your savings are anemic, and if you missed a paycheck it would be a moderate-to-serious […]
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A Guide to Dipping a Reluctant Toe into the World of Budgeting Apps
How to dip a reluctant toe into the world of budgeting apps.
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Should You Sell Your Car?
Yes! You should sell your car!Probably. Maybe? Well, it’s something to think about, for sure. Selling my car is something I’ve thought about, at least, as I’ve watched Old Portland get swallowed up and spat out into something newer and shinier and more expensive. Driving in the city used to make perfect sense—you could get […]
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Surviving Your Student Loan Crisis
In Germany, riding the subway without buying a ticket is called schwarzfahren—quite literally “riding in the dark.” While it saves you money on the ticket, you’re always riding the train with a lingering fear that a fare inspector is going to discover you and slap you with a massive fine. Defaulting on your student loans […]
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That’s (Free) Entertainment! Distract and Amuse Yourself for Almost Nothing
You don’t need to spend much to keep yourself entertained.
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A Helpful Glossary to Confusing Financial Terms
Sometimes the biggest barrier between understanding personal finance and crippling confusion is the jargon associated with it. As it turns out, a lot of head-scratching finance terms represent really simple concepts (we’re not counting cryptocurrency; what the hell is that?). To prove it, we’ve provided a list of definitions to a few personal finance terms […]