I am in band, and I’m sorry about that—but I am terrible at guitar. I’ve played various instruments in my life, but my current genre requires guitar playing, and I’m just not very good at. I’ve tried to take lessons, but this has resulted, in our wonderful city, with a fellow named Kyle or Randy […]
Video Games
Posted inVideo Games
Spaceteam Game Developer Asks Fans for a Salary
SPACETEAM: A perfect excuse to yell at your friends In the game Spaceteam, you and your friends play the crew of a starship, frantically yelling commands at one another while your interface (inside your smartphone) falls apart from the pressures of space. Commands can be the sort of nonsense you might hear on the deck […]
Posted inVideo Games
Frozen: Grand Theft Auto-Style
I am getting so SICK of people trying to label me! NEWSFLASH: I will never allow you to constrict my feelings, or put me in your convenient little box! So if I say I can love the Disney musical Frozen AND Grand Theft Auto—then I can love Frozen AND Grand Theft Auto! Hey Anna, don’t […]
Posted inVideo Games
Do You Like Being Sad? Here’s My Girl: The Videogame
Do you remember My Girl—the 1991 movie starring Macaulay Culkin as a cute little kid with glasses and Anna Chlumsky as a little girl obsessed with death? ADORABLE! You’re welcome for bringing back the pain! Well, now I can do you one better: why not relive the memories of watching a small child being killed […]
Posted inVideo Games
More Women Making Videogames, Please
No smart people think that women shouldn’t play videogames (except perhaps people who think we all need more fresh air), but there’s still a real problem with representation, and costumes, and attitudes in the industry that makes it a hostile place for women to be players and, especially, designers of games. THE LAST OF US […]
Posted inDrunk
Plants Versus Zombies and Drinking
Happy St. Patrick’s week, nerds! Here’s a fun idea on what to do with all those empty bottles: And here is why I’ll be emptying my bottles: like most humans, I had a crippling Plants Versus Zombies addiction for several months of my life. And then when Plants Vs Zombies 2 came out for iPhone, […]
Posted inVideo Games
The Lego Convention Made Me Feel Feelings
My friend Rich and I pulled into the Oregon Convention Center un-premeditated last weekend: we were driving by after brunch and happened to remember that Bricks Cascade, the annual Lego convention, was going on. It seemed like an excellent way to spend nerd dollars, so we stopped in. My goodness, dear people, the world of […]
Posted inArtsy
Kickstarter, Games, and Portland
Monday morning, Kickstarter announced that the crowdfunding platform has received over $1 billion in pledges for projects around the world. $215 million of that has gone into games projects. That’s so much money, you guys. Kickstarter loves sharing its data, especially this data—but we went ahead and broke down some Portland-specific stats for you. First […]
Posted inVideo Games
Millions of People Are Playing Pokemon At Once
I didn’t own a console growing up, so my experience with videogames was always a little annoying: I got to play Mario until I died once, and then I watched the friend who owned the console play the rest of the game. Or if I did get to actually hold the console, I spent the […]
Posted inVideo Games
A Goat Simulator. Thank God.
I’ve been thinking a lot about goats lately. The Belmont Goats have been in my neighborhood almost as long as I have, and I see them nearly every day. They’re adorable and creepy! Goats have oval-shaped pupils, guys, it’s weird. But I’m going to miss them, because they’re moving out to Lents as their field […]
Posted inVideo Games
Two iPhone Games That Are Slightly Better for You Than Flappy Bird
Did you guys play Flappy Bird? If not, good work. It’s a stupid, frustrating game that was stupid and amazing and compelling in the way that texting your ex when you drive through his city just to see what will happen is compelling. Also, the developer made a bajillion dollars on it and then pulled […]
Posted inVideo Games
This is Why I Don’t Play Cards Against Humanity with You.
Sorry, but I don’t want to play Cards Against Humanity with you. It’s not that I’m grumpy. Or humorless. Or that I dislike the concept of “enjoying myself.” It’s that I like my games to be games, and to me, Cards Against Humanity is less a game, and more a shapeless exercise in hackwork comedy […]