As long as you’re buying bullshit anyway, here are three suggested gifts from my “Complete List of Gifts That Should Be Bought For Me, Okay? List, Unabridged and Annotated.” And surprise! They are Star Wars related and 100% real. “Goodness, the feel of cellophane tape on my nether circuits is so… so… erotic.” The C-3PO […]
Geek
Posted inGeek
“I Need Better Odds/More Broads, Less Rods/I Came to Do Battle/Skedaddle with the Cattle Prods.”
Via Mike Russell. You’re welcome.
Posted inGeek
Say What You Will, But the Dwarf at 1:30 Does Have a Pretty Good Point.
In related news, Mercury Food Editor Patrick Alan Coleman used to be “pretty involved” in Magic: The Gathering.
Posted inBooks
Get Shatnerquake for Free!
For today only, local author Jeff Burk is giving away digital copies of his novella Shatnerquake. (We wrote a bit about Shatnerquake a little while ago right here). You know what to do.
Posted inPuppy
Animal Cruelty: Okay When Star Wars is Involved
Okay, so this guy dressed up his miniature pinscher as an AT-AT from Star Wars—which actually is the least cruel part of this video. The worst part is having an owner who not only enjoys humiliating you, but makes it insurmountably worse by ordering you to march around while he hums the Imperial March song. […]
Posted inFashion
Your Daily Dose of Star Wars News for Thursday, November 5, 2009!
FIRST, some jackass who shall not be named (NED LANNAMANN) is intent on repeatedly telling me that the tauntaun sleeping bag will never exist and it’s all a big mean trick on nerds, but he can suck it, because THEY’RE REAL, goddammit, and you can now preorder them (or at least you could, before they […]
Posted inSports
Avatar: Don’t Worry! It’s Just Like Baseball!
Fox has apparently come up with only two ways to market Avatar: 1) Just in case you forgot this fact sometime in the past decade or so, James Cameron is a visionary genius and you owe it to yourself to experience his latest epic creation, even if it does look kinda like Dances with Smurfs […]
Posted inMusic
This Must Be What Going Mad Feels Like.
I… I… don’t know… goddammit. WARNING ONCE THIS IS EXPERIENCED IT CANNOT BE UNEXPERIENCED Via io9.
Posted inGeek
Let’s Get “Bully Smart!”
As many of you have probably already surmised (especially those who work here at the Mercury), I am an unrepentant bully. For me, a day isn’t complete without calling Alison Hallett “four-eyes,” pantsing Matt Davis, or dumping Patrick Coleman head first into a garbage can. Sometimes I like to stare at Erik Henriksen. I just […]
Posted inSports
Chris Bosh Just Saved the Internet
This might be my favorite sports story in years:The Toronto Raptors’ Chris Bosh was bummed that some jerkass cybersquatters reserved the domain name chrisbosh.com before he could purchase it. Instead of getting some alternate name—chrisbosh.geocities.com—or prying open his wallet and buying it from the squatters, Bosh sued. And won. And won. And won… CHICAGO, October […]
Posted inGeek
Better Pass on the Batman Costume This Year
Thinking of getting your kid a Batman costume for Halloween? THINK AGAIN!! (Especially after seeing what one does to this kid.) P.S. Confidential to the mom in this video: You were really cool for playing along with this. Cowl tips to Buzzfeed!