So, you don’t like candy corn. La-di-fucking-da. And now that it’s fall, you spend your day spewing all over the internet about how gross this long-reigning seasonal gem is, and for what? So everyone knows you’re not some kind of sugar-addled basic bitch? Shut up! Candy corn is awesome! Candy corn is here for me, […]
Opinion
Posted inOpinion
Hall Monitor: Soft on Crime
What happens when a police accountability group inherently trusts law enforcement?
Hall Monitor is semi-regular column on issues related to Portland City Hall and its influence on the community it serves. ——— What is volunteer-led police oversight expected to look like? What happens when a police accountability group inherently trusts law enforcement? These are the questions at the center of a discussion headed to City […]
Posted inCity Hall
Hall Monitor: The Changing Symbolism of Portland’s Elk Statue
The Thompson Elk, photographed in June 2020. Alex Zielinski When Portlanders flooded downtown streets in the early summer of 2020 to protest the murder of George Floyd and other examples of police violence against Black Americans, they were joined by a triumphant elk. Specifically, the Thompson Elk, a 120-year-old slender bronze elk statue perched atop […]
Posted inCity Hall
Hall Monitor: Why Homelessness Experts Have Rejected Mayor’s Shelter Plan
Shelter beds at Portland’s Wy’East Shelter. Motoya Nakamura / Multnomah County Portland’s homeless shelter providers will be the first to tell you that building more shelters is not the solution to ending the city’s homelessness crisis. “It doesn’t end homelessness. It relocates it,” says Andy Miller, director of nonprofit shelter provider Human Solutions. “We always […]
Posted inComedy
Opinion: Kristof’s Thwarted Campaign a Blow to All Unqualified, Entitled White Men
Does Nick Kristof’s thwarted campaign signal trouble for all entitled white guys? Michael Blann / Getty Images Dear fellow entitled white men: We are living in a time of crisis. Today we learned the sad (and baffling!) news that fellow entitled white man, Nick Kristof, was denied his inalienable right as a property-owning white guy […]
Posted inFood and Drink
In Defense of the $34 Chicken
Courtesy of Rotigo [This is the second in a two-part series on the rotisserie chicken to-go restaurant Rotigo. For part one, click here.—eds] I have a (chicken) bone to pick. In response to my review of the restaurant/bar/market Rotigo last week, a small number of folks dismissively scoffed at the price difference between a Rotigo […]
Posted inOpinion
A Sentimental, Navel-Gazing, and Profoundly Grateful Goodbye Post
A picture I took of my desk on my first day at the Merc, in October 2018. No workplace is perfect. Jobs are not identities, employers are not families, and some days you are going to really fucking hate your job. That’s kind of the whole deal with capitalism, and it’s especially true in an […]
Posted inComedy
Tips for Surviving Your Racist Family Thanksgiving
ISTOCK/KARENFOLEYPHOTOGRAPHY [Here are some wise words from former Portlander/current Denver resident and verrry funny comedian Andie Main that she wrote for us in 2016—and yet still hold true today!—eds] Tips for Surviving Your Racist Family Thanksgiving 1) Steel your nerves in the car before entering the house by watching the opening scene of Saving Private […]
Posted inCops
Hall Monitor: If the Number of Cops Doesn’t Impact Crime, What Can?
MATHIEU LEWIS-ROLLAND Hall Monitor is a column on issues related to Portland City Hall and its influence on the community it serves. ——— In City Hall discussions about the city’s budget (which, in Portland, seems to occur every few months), there is one factor that tends to steer the conversation: data. Bureau programs often win […]
Posted inComedy
Ghost Busted: The Mercury Uses Science to Expose Portland’s Real-est and Fakiest Ghosts!
ILLUSTRATION BY MICHELLE MRUK [Happy pre-Halloween! All week long the Mercury will be publishing classic tales of local Halloween horror from our archives, as well as brand spankin’ new (and creepy) pieces… this one is from our 2019 special feature in which we investigated Portland’s most terrifying places.—eds] Portland is home to many so-called “haunted” […]
Posted inComedy
Which Mall Is More Haunted: Mall 205 or Lloyd Center?
Campy Draper [Happy pre-Halloween! All week long the Mercury will be publishing classic tales of local Halloween horror from our archives, as well as brand spankin’ new (and creeeepy) pieces… such as this one!—eds] Looking down on the empty ice rink, an irrational fear grips me. Tears I can’t explain run down my cheeks. Below, […]
Posted inMusic
Dispatch from an Indoor Concert During a Pandemic
Yo La Tengo’s Ira Kaplan shredding the guitar as his wife, Georgia Hubley smashes the drums behind him. Alex Zielinski There have been moments in the past year and a half of the COVID-19 pandemic where it’s felt like some societal customs would never return. Handshakes: Over. Salad bars: Done. Karaoke: Seems risky. Every time […]