I didn’t realize this, but working in factories—around giant machines that spin and grind, and fat men who drop things like large wrenches or who don’t sweep the floor—is apparently INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS. Unless, that is, you think about this. And by this, I mean “SAFETY.” Watch and learn. And listen to the bestest song you’ll […]
Science!
Posted inTech
Science? This Time You’ve Gone Too Far!
In this video, a company known as Fulton Innovation demonstrates their new packaging technique, which uses wireless power induction to make boxes of Trix practically irresistible to your sugar-addicted kid. THANKS A FUCK OF A LOT, INDUCTION! Read more about it here.
Posted inSex
Women Can Castrate Men With Their Tears!
Science! Tears shed by women contain chemical signals that decrease sexual arousal and testosterone levels in men, according to a study. Researchers collected the tears—!!!!!!!—from women watching sad movies and then had straight men—beastly straight men—smell their tears. Contrary to what freshmen in woman’s studies programs are taught, straight men are not aroused by women’s […]
Posted inMovies & TV
Make a Real Rorschach Mask
Have you ever wanted to play out your Watchmen Rorschach fantasies? You know… murdering dogs, hating the world, speaking in a voice that’s been smoking cigarettes for the last 50 years, being killed in the Antarctic snow? The normal stuff. Then check out this video of a guy who found out how to make a […]
Posted inScience!
Wm. Steven Humphrey’s Unfuckwithable Rules for Secret Santa
If you are anything like the employees of the Portland Mercury, you freaking hate your office’s annual “Secret Santa” gift exchange. Why? Here’s why! It takes too goddamn long! And it takes even longer if your officemates are encouraged to “steal” gifts that have already been opened. That’s why during the Mercury‘s “Secret Santa” ceremony, […]
Posted inScience!
Smallest Periodic Table… Ever!
Hurrah! Professor Martyn Poliakoff recently celebrated a birthday! He’s rocking the mad scientist look, and everything seems to be all right in the world. Then he gets invited to the Nanotechnology Center at Nottingham University in England for a birthday present. So… what’s the present?Why, good ol’ Poliakoff gets to have the Periodic Table of […]
Posted inTech
Ascent
I haven’t watched all of this (It’s 45 minutes long! The commentary voices are making me sleepy!), but the first 20 minutes or so are pretty damn impressive anyway. It’s a compilation of some of the best footage NASA has of various space shuttle launches from camera angles not usually seen by the public. An […]
Posted inScience!
The World’s First Patient Cured of HIV
Big news from Berlin! Doctors there treated an HIV-positive man for leukemia back in 2007 by transplanting stem cells into his system. Now the doctors are reporting that the transplant seems to have accidentally cured him of HIV. The infection is completely gone from his body and, if his progress holds up, he could be […]
Posted inHomo
Conservative Christians Are Always Saying That If We Allow Gay Marriage and Let Gays and Lesbians Serve Openly In the Military Then One Day Everyone Will Be Gay and Then the Human Race Will Go Exinct
Looks like they don’t need to worry about that anymore—thanks to science! Using stem cell technology, reproductive scientists in Texas, led by Dr. Richard R. Berhringer at the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, have produced male and female mice from two fathers…. The achievement of two-father offspring in a species of mammal could be a step […]
Posted inScience!
Flame Wars Are Good?
Tangerine Press The Internet already knows that spewing hate into conversations will make them last longer—mostly with more hate. However, we never really knew it scientifically. Not to worry though, SCIENCE! has stepped into let us know that, yes, we were right. Slovenian and British researchers recently released the results of a study they did […]
Posted inHomo
Gay Teens More Likely to be Punished
Pediatrics journal recently released a study analyzing whether homosexual adolescents are more likely than their straight counterparts to be punished by schools and the justice system. In an analysis of the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health, teenagers attracted to people of the same sex were 41 percent more likely to be expelled from school, […]
Posted inHomo
Mercury Turns Birds All Gay and Shit
Blogtown consulting detective Graham emailed us the following very intriguing headline: Now I have no need to read the accompanying story, because I already know that this theory is categorically TRUE. Our newspaper does turn ibises—as well as other wetland birds—homosexual. And for reasons I can’t begin to fathom, it also seems to turn Maltipoos […]