6708 SE Milwaukie, 235-5797 Looking for a weekend breakfast before two in the afternoon? The Limelight offers a well-crafted version of standard fare without the lines and attitude found at some of Portland’s more established restaurants. One may walk into the Limelight, eat, and jog back to Hawthorne in less time than it would take […]
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DIVE! DIVE!
Reviews of some of Portland’s Finest
DRINKING IS A SERIOUS OCCUPATION, and should be treated as such. So why waste your time sipping a “Sex on the Beach” at T.J. McFuck’s, when you can support your local dive? What follows are just a sampling of the fine, downtrodden drinkeries Portland has to offer. For those of you who are bound to […]
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A DRUNKARD’S EXPERIENCE
Lizards, Snakes and Dogs: How They Filled His Stomach and Clutched His Throat
WERE YOU EVER SO DRUNK you didn’t dare get sober? That is the condition I found myself in, and I made up my mind I’d try a trip in the country and see if I couldn’t get down to bedrock again. There I discovered a hotel, where the bar had some of the finest old […]
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ON THE WAGON
Find the AA Meeting That’s Right For You!
EVER SEE those irritating public service announcements on NBC called “The More You Know”? Specifically the one where Kurt Cameron stood in front of a fluorescent pink backdrop, earnestly telling you, “If you think you have a drinking problem–you do.” Well, Kurt was right. You do have a drinking problem! You’re tired of waking up […]
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WHY I DRINK
Winner of the “Why I Drink” Contest!
Editor’s Note: Three “huzzahs!” for John Lewis, the winner of our “Why I Drink” essay contest. For his entry, John wins 100 bucks and a home bar kit from the fine folks at Palookaville. Congratulations, John, and we’ll see ya in the gutter! When they blew up the Marines barrack in Beirut back around ’84, […]
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THE MEANING/MEANINGLESSNESS OF BOOZE
CHRONIC DRINKING is the fanatically self-administered hoax of a life fully lived–lived to the hilt, hell-bent, bent to please and shapefully misshapen. Booze, consumed in extremis, with vim and vigor, offers the tight, internal logic of narrative, the compression of fable, the magnitude of myth, with a lot of fuzz and bleeding around the critical […]
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THE SEVEN STAGES OF DRUNK
Being a relatively sober person with a bunch of crazy friends, I often see the results of overt drunkenness firsthand. I began to take notes on various subjects and have compiled a list of mannerisms that are often performed by people who have consumed too much alcohol. Subject’s face begins to stretch, as if struggling […]
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DRUNKEN MUNCHIES
It’s 2:45 am and sure, there are plenty of places you can go to replenish those precious supplies of salt and grease that drinking depletes. But there’s nothing I love more than falling up my front steps, waking my housemates, and creating some of the most deliciously repulsive delicacies. This is food to be consumed […]
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ESPARZA’S TEX-MEX CAFE
2725 SE Ankeny St, 234-7909 With glowing mentions in The New York Times and Bon Appetit, one expects the food at Esparza’s to be something special; You might think that the line trickling out the door on a Thursday night is an indication of exceptional Tex-Mex, worth a considerable sum. Well, certainly, Esparza’s dècor, an […]
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Last Supper
Hawaiian-Style Foods
Portland Saturday Market, Saturday 10 am-5 pm, Sunday 11 am to 4:30 pm, $4.25-$6.25 Believe it or not, there really is a reason to venture into the fetid mass of unwashed, greedy, zig-zagging humanity known as Saturday Market. And that would be for a plate of yakisoba noodles with lemon chicken at the Hawaiian-Style Foods […]
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Shandown’s Buffet
SHAWDON’S BUFFET 2731 N Killingsworth, 285-4144 Whenever the thermometer tops 85, there are always those who cry out in anguish, “It’s too hot to eat!” To them I say–great. All the more for me. Summer is the time for eating. Yet there are certain dishes which are simply better suited to raw, blistering heat. Like […]
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Last Supper
SCHÖNDECKEN COFFEE ROASTERS
6720 SE 16th, 236-8234 In the heart of Westmoreland, where Bybee meets Milwaukie, there are two obvious coffee choices: Starbucks and Marsee Baking. Starbucks we all know as the word’s largest coffee chain, an affiliate of Kraft Foods, working in collusion with Pepsi-Cola on projects like “Frappacino.” Marsee is an Oregon business, and a thriving […]