Bao BAB 422 NW 8th Ave, 241-0390 Ginger is aggressively tart; enough taken in one bite sends my eyelids fluttering into convulsions. Fortunately, since I love ginger, that’s a good thing; two sips from a glass of ginger juice at Baobab and the underside of my brain began to tickle. I could feel the nerve […]
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Jojo-A-Go Go
Holier-Than-Thou Food Reviews
Once upon a time, there was an indigestible, starchy tuber that no one wanted in their mouth. So the potato sat and thought about all the wonderful foods in the world, and if he was not a potato, what food would he most like to be? Mmmmm, fried chicken. Behold, the birth of the jojo! […]
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Last Supper
Holier-Than-Thou Food Review
BONNIE’S BURGERS & TERIYAKI 111 NW 21st, 224-8438 My Aunt Wanda once had a nervous breakdown, and for months, could only eat fried chicken from a Texaco station. She was also fearful of being overcome by poisonous fumes, but the thing that really bugged my family was the chicken. We weren’t concerned about her eating […]
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Noah’s Bagels
Various locations Because Oregon is so homogenous, Portland restaurateurs are faced with a clientele who probably won’t call them on any cultural discrepancies hidden within their menus. While some restaurant owners occasionally succeed in transplanting the flavor of a particular culture’s food (read: Escape From New York Pizza), most ignorantly appropriate entire menus with only […]
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CZABA’S BAR-B-QUE
Holier-Than-Thou Food Reviews
5907 N Lombard, 240-0615 I’ve been noticing a barbeque trend in this town and I’m not sure I like it. It’s the dry, extra-smoky rib thing. Why so smoky? Why so dry? What happened to the juicy, slipping-off-the-bone rib with as much bark* as bite? A friend assured me that Czaba’s Bar-B-Que is the answer […]
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LIMELIGHT RESTAURANT
6708 SE Milwaukie, 235-5797 Looking for a weekend breakfast before two in the afternoon? The Limelight offers a well-crafted version of standard fare without the lines and attitude found at some of Portland’s more established restaurants. One may walk into the Limelight, eat, and jog back to Hawthorne in less time than it would take […]
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DIVE! DIVE!
Reviews of some of Portland’s Finest
DRINKING IS A SERIOUS OCCUPATION, and should be treated as such. So why waste your time sipping a “Sex on the Beach” at T.J. McFuck’s, when you can support your local dive? What follows are just a sampling of the fine, downtrodden drinkeries Portland has to offer. For those of you who are bound to […]
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A DRUNKARD’S EXPERIENCE
Lizards, Snakes and Dogs: How They Filled His Stomach and Clutched His Throat
WERE YOU EVER SO DRUNK you didn’t dare get sober? That is the condition I found myself in, and I made up my mind I’d try a trip in the country and see if I couldn’t get down to bedrock again. There I discovered a hotel, where the bar had some of the finest old […]
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ON THE WAGON
Find the AA Meeting That’s Right For You!
EVER SEE those irritating public service announcements on NBC called “The More You Know”? Specifically the one where Kurt Cameron stood in front of a fluorescent pink backdrop, earnestly telling you, “If you think you have a drinking problem–you do.” Well, Kurt was right. You do have a drinking problem! You’re tired of waking up […]
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WHY I DRINK
Winner of the “Why I Drink” Contest!
Editor’s Note: Three “huzzahs!” for John Lewis, the winner of our “Why I Drink” essay contest. For his entry, John wins 100 bucks and a home bar kit from the fine folks at Palookaville. Congratulations, John, and we’ll see ya in the gutter! When they blew up the Marines barrack in Beirut back around ’84, […]
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THE MEANING/MEANINGLESSNESS OF BOOZE
CHRONIC DRINKING is the fanatically self-administered hoax of a life fully lived–lived to the hilt, hell-bent, bent to please and shapefully misshapen. Booze, consumed in extremis, with vim and vigor, offers the tight, internal logic of narrative, the compression of fable, the magnitude of myth, with a lot of fuzz and bleeding around the critical […]
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THE SEVEN STAGES OF DRUNK
Being a relatively sober person with a bunch of crazy friends, I often see the results of overt drunkenness firsthand. I began to take notes on various subjects and have compiled a list of mannerisms that are often performed by people who have consumed too much alcohol. Subject’s face begins to stretch, as if struggling […]