On Thursday night, Sarah Shapiro got home and lifted her tomcat, Grand Theft Auto, to find her hands covered in blood. After rushing him to Dove Lewis, she came back for her other, female cat, Alibi, who was also found to have abdominal wounds. Both cats required surgery, and Grand Theft Auto, at last report, is still in the hospital. The wounds appear to have been inflicted by a long, sharp object like a knife.

Shapiro lives in the Woodlawn neighborhood of NE Portland (and is the co-creator of the new Lifetime show UnREAL, which draws on her experience as a producer for The Bachelor and just got a nod of approval from The New Yorker). Woodlawn is close enough to my house that my usual running route goes through it—and way too close to my own cats, who are loving this weather and being able to go outside and cool off with a nice dirt nap under a shrub.

“These wounds were very unusual and unlike anything we typically see, even for cats that spend some of their time outdoors, like Grand Theft Auto and Alibi do,” says the vet who’s treating both cats. “The severity of their wounds was not clear from the outside, but once we performed surgery we were concerned that they appeared to have been stabbed. Had they not been treated so quickly, both might have died.”

If you have cats, you should be keeping closer tabs on them until this mystery is resolved—I’m not gonna tell you what that means in your household, but probably no psychopaths can STAB THEM when they’re inside. At the least, check them out to make sure they don’t have any injuries. These cats’ wounds were deep but there wasn’t a lot to see from the outside. There’s unfortunately no known witnesses to the crime, thus no shred of a description of the perp, but if we keep vigilant and spread the word, hopefully this sucker will get caught.

Even if you’re not a cat person, a personality capable of using violence against defenseless animals is extremely dangerous to society as a whole. I hope we can take this fucker down.

Multnomah County Animal Services is investigating. Do call them at (503) 988-7387 if you have any tips, or have pets that turn up with similar injuries.

Grand Theft Auto, all stitched up.
  • Dove Lewis
  • Grand Theft Auto, all stitched up.

Marjorie Skinner is the Portland Mercury's Managing Editor, author of the weekly Sold Out column chronicling the area's independent fashion and retail industry, and a frequent contributor to the film and...

27 replies on “Let’s Catch the Portland Cat Stabber”

  2. The stabbing of 2 cats in the same household seems like a vengeful targeted act which was maybe about some person in that household, rather than a random act of cat violence. Has anyone considered this?

  3. Screw you Graham. How dare you judge others. You’re a bad person. Know how I know? Because you have taken your opinion and lambasted people who don’t think like you. I let my cat outside. Why? Because personally, the life my cat would lead being cooped up would suck and I have no right to keep an animal captive like that. If you don’t think like I do, that’s just fine, but don’t be an opportunistic asshole and use some sick bastard’s revenge as your opening to pretend you are superior to others.

  4. Cats are not native to our environment, they are very destructive to local wildlife, and they tend to live much shorter lives if let outdoors. Please keep them inside.

  5. Shorter lives, but happier. If the cat wants to go outside, but your force it to stay in captivity, is that “better?”

  7. Much shorter lives. Huh. I have had 5 cats in my lifetime, 2 for 18 years, the other two for 19 years, and have a 10 year old one right now, so I think you’re blanket statement is incorrect Anthonwy. I will absolutely not keep my cats inside unless there is a clear and immediate threat. I try to bring the cats in at night to keep them safe from the coyotes, but if I can’t get the cat to come in, then I don’t have him inside at night. I’m not going to be selfish and say that my cat’s happiness is less important than my “possession” of him.

  8. First off, let’s catch this twisted asshole. I imagine a troubled youth, but that is speculation.
    But Serial Killers always tend to start with animals, if I’m not mistaken, so get some ID on this bastard.
    Secondly, it is a FACT that indoor cats live longer lives — and who could really say less-fulfilled anyway?
    I am speaking from tragic personal experience here.
    Keep those kitties indoors and safe.

  9. Yup, because we all know that one person’s experience is the same as EVERY other person’s experience. I will not keep my cat indoors. You clearly have no information about what makes my cat miserable, so please, watch out for your cats, I’ll watch out for mine. And, yes, let’s catch this twisted asshole.

  10. Who would’ve guessed this post would bring out a crazy cat person?

    Look, there are 2 concerns here. The well being of the 2 feline victims and catching the scumbag who stabbed them.

    Going off half-cocked on somebody for pointing out some questionable science that you don’t agree with is totally unnecessary.

    It’s a free country, keep your cat indoors or let them outside. Whatever happens, happens.

  13. Whoa lots and lots of judgement, can’t we just let all creatures be OK? Like a no idiots who disrespect life allowed? What are we teaching our children

  16. At everyone saying that their cat’s happiness is more important than the lives of native wild life, you’re self-centered sociopaths who are the pet-owner equivalent of the Exxon-Valdez oil spill. Good job on contributing to the destruction of our local ecosystems.

    But then, you clearly don’t care about anything than feeling good about yourself. Try and learn more about the atrocities caused by your little fuzzy bundle of joy. Domestic cats kill 4 BILLION birds a year, but again that doesn’t matter because your little cat deserves to be happy because of reasons.

  18. “Keep your cat indoors and this never would have happened.”

    =

    “If you didn’t wear those clothes you wouldn’t have been raped.”

    You are a fucking moron.

  19. @Chase Hall: Great strawman! How long did it take you to think up that witty rejoinder? 20 minutes? An hour? I hope you’re very proud of yourself, because you’re smart enough, you’re good enough, and gosh-darn it, people like you!

  20. Actually Graham, there was a recent article that states we kill more birds than cats do. The environment and habitat loss and birds flying into windows kill way more than cats do. I am sure that you have read the same article that I did regarding the cats and bird populations in the US. However those numbers do not add up, if cats actually killed that many birds, they would be completely extinct within just a few years. I do however agree with you about keeping kitties indoors. There are ways that they can enjoy the outside without running loose and being in danger. Mine love our screened in porch, as well as going for walks on their leashes. I try to make sure they lead full lives even though they are indoor kitties. They are safe and happy and loved, and that is all that matters to me. Mytulpa, you are entitled to your opinion however, no one said that one person’s experiences are the same as others and should govern all other’s experiences, he stated he knows this by experience, meaning HIS experience. I will back him on this, I have had the same experience with my babies that I had let outside all the time. They did not live long. Please people, stop being to defensive and stop attacking others. The main purpose of this article was to inform people of this psycho out there hurting kitties, not to attack each other! Would the attack have happened if they had been inside? No, probably not. But the fact is, they weren’t inside and it did happen. I hope and pray they catch this sick fucker!

  22. Does Graham even have pets I wonder? Or is he just soo focused on saving the environment he forgets respect when talking with other people? Seems like he forgot to access his empathy department too bc he clearly doesn’t give a fuck about the violent attack on the these cats bc he just wants to blame the owner for it. Then he wants to blame cats in general for the weening of the bird population…then he wants to blame his mother for not giving him enough attention as a child. Go to therapy. Your blaming and self righteousness is asinine, and most importantly, TOTALLY MISSING THE POINT OF THE ARTICLE.

    Keep your pets safe! There’s a pyschopath out there, but there’s also a bunch of idiots on the internet, so do what’s best for you.

  23. Thank you, MEGACUNT666. Your incisive commentary on me and my life have caused me to reconsider my positions on everything. You are truly one of the great thinkers of this or any generation. Do you have any other nuggets of wisdom you’d like to share with the rest of us? Perhaps something to do with how far up your own nose you’re able to stick your finger?

  24. Thinking of these babies and wishing them a swift recovery. The person who did this is the very worst kind of person.

  25. I never knew about this heated debate between owners of outside and inside cats. But as anyone who has ever watched Alfred Hitchhcocks’ The Birds knows they are only waiting for their chance to strike. Kill them all now!!!

  27. No one has the right to inflict such harm on a living creature. I hope they catch this asshole. Cats belong indoors. As a mail carrier I see cats doing what they do naturally everyday. Your kitties are natural born killers. Keep them indoors, I don’t want to see another bluebird eaten, a baby crow learning to fly ATE. You know crows have a brain capacity close to chimpanzees. It is not fair to introduce another hazard in their habitat

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