Texas senatorial candidate Chris Mapp keeps putting his giant cowboy boot in his mouth. Last week Mapp told the Dallas Morning News' editorial board that American "ranchers should be allowed to shoot on sight anyone illegally crossing the border on to their land." Does that sound right? The penalty for sort of trespassing is instant death? Life's not a video game. (I think... I hope. Oh man, if it is I hope whatever Ender is playing my avatar figures out what they're doing in time.)

Mapp's racist violence is all over the map. In addition to implying that murdering human beings is okay, he called immigrants an awful racial slur: "wetbacks." Contextually, maybe when he said that they should be shot he simply meant with squirt guns... and from behind. But only a squirtgun coward with no honor shoots a soldier in the back.

Mapp is only 53 years old, which when it comes to racial slurs, is young enough to know better.

He defended himself by saying that using a racial slur is as "normal as breathing air in South Texas." That is not something to brag about. You breathe air 15 times per minute on average; is everyone in South Texas full of hate 15 times per minute?

And then, for seemingly no reason other than to be a dick, Mapp called President Barack Obama "a socialist son of a bitch." President Obama in my opinion is a very solid textbook definition democrat when it comes to politics, but maybe when it comes to "son of a bitchiness" he is a socialist. I guess that would mean from each according to his son-of-a-bitchiness to each according to how much son-of-a-bitchiness he needs.

The immigration debate is a lot like my grandmother's dating life: kept afloat by old racist white men.