Benjamin Franklin invented the stove, bifocals, urinary catheters, and the idea of “paying it forward.” And he still had time to be a politician, musician, diplomat, postmaster general, and, apparently, a terrific lover.
The Miley Cyrus hit “We Can’t Stop” was written by Miley Cyrus, Mike L. Williams II, Pierre Ramon Slaughter, Timothy Thomas, Theron Thomas, Douglas Davis, and Ricky Walters. It took seven people to write a song which contains 10+ instances of the phrase “It’s our party”.
Mike L. Williams II didn’t invent bifocals, he only wrote 1/7 of a pop song. But it’s not that he’s so much dumber than Ben Franklin, it’s just all the easy shit’s been invented already.
If you’ve got a pair of glasses for distance and one for close up, and nobody’s invented bifocals yet, of course you’re going to try to wear one above the other. But what are you going to invent nowadays? Underwear for two? Too late. A motion activated fake parrot? Ages ago. There’s really nothing left at this point.
It’s getting worse as the earth’s population explodes. When Aristotle invented Western philosophy, biology, and zoology, there were only 100 million people on the whole planet. There are 5 times that on Google+ and we call that a ghost town. Try to invent a new branch of science and you’ll find there’s already a G+ Community dedicated to pictures of that plus cats.
In my life, this manifests itself every time I write a new joke and Google it to see if it’s been taken. In the last week, I’ve had four brilliant ideas only to find out everybody else had the ideas too.
-> A sketch called “Doctor Who’s on First.” – Of course there is.
-> Mario saying “YOLO? I don’t get it.” – Sorry, not even close to first.
-> A video blog called Vlog the Impaler – Taken 6 years ago..
-> Christopher Walken holding some cowboy boots and the phrase “These boots were made for Walken.” THERE’S A GOD DAMN MOVIE!
Whatever I think of, it’s been done. There are just too many people coming up with too many ideas. I should probably just give up and write party hits with Mike L. Williams II.
Thanks for the great laugh – had no idea it took so many people to write a lame pop song which I thankfully have never heard. And yes, it’s all been done – you just have to keep doing it better!
Thanks, @Victoria! You’re too nice. You don’t belong here.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO WRITING JOKES ABOUT GETTING MARRIED. SEEMS LIKE THERE’S A LOT OF GROUND LEFT TO COVER THERE.
I’m sure there’s a joke somewhere in the above, Alex.
Walken on Sunshine?
Like you’re the first one to come up with the “everything has already been done, just give up” idea. It’s been done. The fault lies in your own lack of imagination. That shit Ben Franklin invented was hard back when he invented it. The only reason you think it’s easy now is because he invented it hundreds of years ago. And as lame as they are, those “songwriters” still each have 1/7 of a song on you.
People continue to invent things, of course. They just tend to be apps and things to make your internet box go faster and so on. You use them, you just can’t see them, so you think about them less.
I can vouch for Franklin being an amazing lover. He boned my great great great great great grandmother, and I’m still feeling pretty satisfied.
@coolestboyintheworld – That’s the best comment anybody’s ever posted on any of my columns.