For reasons only he can divine, Jimmy Kimmel has his excellent make-up artists disguise him as a talking pig, and then interviews some kids to see if they will sell him out to his dickhead cowboy owner. As always, children are nothing but a disappointment. (This is heee-larious, btw! Watch!)
Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.) More by Wm. Steven Humphrey

Are we sure that Jimmy Kimmel isn’t actually a talking pig?
You can’t make me watch this video. YOU CAN’T MAKE ME.
You will regret it if you don’t!
Jimmy Kimmel is now responsible for 30 years (each) of psychoanalysis for those girls.
What’s that you say? They were actresses? Reading from a script?
I can’t describe how many levels I am disappointed on…