"Put a tie on me and I'll take your eyes out." Credit: Twitter Screen Shot
Put a tie on me and Ill take your eyes out.
“Put a tie on me and I’ll take your eyes out.” Twitter Screen Shot

Congratulations, team! You just survived another week in the apocalypse. (And just think… another two months and you’ll earn a merit badge!) Until then let’s try to return the smile to our faces with a visit from the Mercury Cheer Up Club—featuring a boatload of guaranteed laughs curated with care from the internet! STICK IT UP YER BUTT, FRIDAY! THE WEEKEND IS HERE!

Today in “Sheba doesn’t want any part of your stupid Zoom meeting” news:

Today in “Can’t put anything over on this kid” news:

Today in “Can’t put anything over on this kid either!” news:

Today in “Friday mood” news:

Today in “Some models are so hard to work with” news:

Today in “Presidential grief management” news:

And finally, today in “And the Grammy for ‘Best New Artists’ goes to….” news:

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Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)