Credit: Front cover art by Voja World. Back cover is Godzilla vs Gigan by Toho Studios DAMEDEESO / GETTY IMAGES

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Front cover art by Voja World. Back cover is Godzilla vs Gigan by Toho Studios DAMEDEESO / GETTY IMAGES

Before we get started on today’s lesson in newspapering and what it’s like being Wm. Steven Humphrey, I just have to share this latest tidbit of ignorance being squirted out by supporters of the far right. Here’s a Facebook comment left by Nathan in response to our article about the recent Proud Boy protest circle jerk in Portland: “Antifa is as organized, if not more so, than the propaganda machine is reporting, because they are the machine. Mercury is the central command. They support, fund, and organize Antifa.”

(Inhales deeply….)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!! OMIGOD YES! I live for this shit! Okay, first things first: The Mercury is totally gonna make T-shirts that read: “Antifa Central Command.” Secondly, someone needs to check on Nathan, because he’s obviously not getting enough oxygen to his brain. Nathan… oh, poor, misguided Nathan… the Mercury can barely afford the staples in our biweekly, much less fund thousands of cement milkshakes. We can’t even organize a staff retreat to the trampoline park! How are we going to “command” the thousands of people and organizations that make up Antifa?

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)