I was first hired by the Mercury in 1912 as a delivery boy. Us Newsies always got a thrill from delivering the paper each and every week, especially 'ol One Leggy Petey here. That kid loved it when Dan Savage would write about "pegging."
I was first hired by the Mercury in 1912 as a delivery boy. Us Newsies always got a thrill from delivering the paper each and every week, especially ol One Leggy Petey here. That kid loved it when Dan Savage would write about pegging.
  • I was first hired by the Mercury in 1912 as a delivery boy. Us Newsies always got a thrill from delivering the paper each and every week, especially ‘ol One Leggy Petey here. That kid loved it when Dan Savage would write about “pegging.”

I’m taking the next step in my career after four 11 fantastic years with the Mercury. I’m sorry to say that I’m moving on.

This is the best newspaper in Oregon, and I’ve loved working here. Steve Humphrey has stood up for me when nobody else would, and he’s given me room to develop my strengths and interests as a journalist. There really aren’t enough editors out there like him, and I’ll always be indebted. To publisher Rob Crocker, too, I give my thanks. He believed in my talent and I appreciate it.

So why would anybody quit a job in the newspaper industry in 2010 2011?

My life, so far, has been characterized by taking fairly large calculated risks which have paid enormous dividends, and I don’t see why I should stop doing that now. I’m moving to New Orleans…

Okay, fine, you got me. I didn’t write any of this.

Truth is, I just plagiarized Matt Davis’ farewell blog post from May, 2010. (The real reason I am moving to New Orleans is to join Matt on a series of Cajun adventures in research for my first Hollywood screenplay, Boat Cop Meets the British Bobby: Bayou Fever.)

Actually, I’m not really going anywhere.

Instead of leaving the nest in search of adventure with my former British co-worker (Gators and fanboats!), I’m staying in town and joining the lucrative service industry. Coke problems, Flipping Goldschläger bottles with one hand, and maybe even boning Elisabeth Shue underneath a waterfall—my life is gonna be so awesome!

But dry those tears, I won’t vanish from the pages of the Mercury entirely, and if the NBA season ever starts up again I’ll resume my rightful place at the Blazers’ press row kid’s table. I’ll also still be on End Hits from time to time as well, since If I don’t write at length about how vital the Boy’s Life/Giant’s Chair split 7-inch was to emo’s glorious second wave, who will? WHO WILL, I ASK YOU???

Consider me Blogtown’s David Wooderson. I’ll constantly be loitering on this site in a pathetic attempt to win back a piece of my younger days. Wish me luck.

Oh, and thanks to everyone for putting up with me for the past decade or so.

Ezra Ace Caraeff is the former Music Editor for the Mercury, and spent nearly a third of his life working at the paper. More importantly, he is the owner of Olive, the Mercury’s unofficial office dog....

17 replies on “Taking The Next Step (Backwards)”

  5. You’ll be missed Ezra. I’ve enjoyed reading your work over the past few years. Best of luck. And if I ever find your bar, I’ll assuredly drink there. Because I am nothing if not a drinker.

  7. I laughed when I got to the “my life has been characterized” line, nice one. 11 years is a long time to put into anything. Best of luck.

  11. Always enjoyed your music/Blazer pieces, Ezra. Even remember when I lived in Seattle reading the show previews you did in that odd, mutant rocker dialect.

    A little advice: kick the very first four or five customers out of your bar right away to set a behavioral tone.

  12. Ezra, if you need a “cooler,” I hear there’s a watercraft-based peace officer who’s looking to moonlight.

    (He’s generally agreeable, but only until it’s time to not be agreeable any longer.)

  13. That was the quintessential Mercury farewell post. It had everything: a jab at Matt Davis’ banality, a Boat Cop reference, some real heart and was short enough that Frank Cassano probably won’t take notice.

  16. Bye Ezra! I’ll miss reading your posts and articles, and then commenting on them. And I’ll miss your photoshoppery. I hope those left will still occasionally throw around some second wave emo references, since they provide me good opportunities to complain about things. Glad you’re still covering the blazers.

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