After tagging a bank with an anarchy symbol during a small anti-police protest in the chill of January, Portland’s anarchists tell us they’re back at it. They’re telling us because no one, it seems, has noticed—or at least is willing to say publicly that they’ve noticed.
Here’s a statement that plopped into the ol’ inbox a few minutes ago:
On Sunday night the 27th of February we smashed with rocks the windows of the Portland Police contact office at 4720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. We did this in solidarity with our comrades in Seattle and with the recent uprisings against the police on the west coast. It is our hope that our struggles, and further, the struggle of all anti-authoritarians, will be mutually inspiring. The police have always used violence to uphold the institution of capitalism, and for that they should expect nothing less than to be attacked.
Against Police and the Prison World They Maintain
-Portland Anarchists
I called the police bureau to ask whether, in fact, any windows had been broken at the office on Hawthorne—more community gathering spot than police substation.
Sergeant Pete Simpson, a police spokesman, basically said “what broken windows?” and promised to check with folks over at the East Precinct for details. If true, “they’re really damaging the neighhborhood more than us.” But he also joked about a “Jedi mind trick”—as in maybe the cops are only making it seem like no one noticed the latest outburst?
So, anarchists: If you’ve got pictures, send ’em.
Update 1:40 PM: Okay, so Simpson replies with confirmation from the police logs:
Case #11-16019, occurred 3:23 a.m. on 02/28/11. 4720 SE Hawthorne / Portland Police Neighborhood Contact Office, 3 windows broken, 6’x6′ each, damage estimate at $2,400. Police investigating.
Update 4:40 PM: I ought to clarify what Simpson meant with his nice “Jedi” line: It’s not that police were keeping mum, it’s just that busted windows don’t usually rate a big to-do. If anything, he says, the “mind trick” would be ignoring the anarchists. Which we’ve chosen not to do, serving them up to all you caustic Blogtownies instead.
“P.S., spare change? No? How about some day-old bagels? Wait, are they vegan?”
Maybe they accidentally hit the Eagles Lodge instead.
That’s my fucking neighborhood. If these anarchists want to go smash windows, smash them in their own homes. Fuck these kids. If they want to stand in solidarity with other actions, go volunteer with Albina Ministries.
Oh wait, anarchists don’t get along with black people.
But seriously? These kids sent out a press release after anonymously breaking a window in an unmarked police breakroom? How fucking retarded and ineffectual. I can’t wait till they graduate from PCC and go to PSU. Then they’ll learn how to knock over newspaper boxes.
This is not the popular uprising you are looking for.
I think you mean “populist”…?
“anarchists”
yeah, right. Wearing black, covering their faces and breaking windows. Shouldn’t even give them any press coverage.
I marched in the Seattle rally and brought a Portland friend with me. One of the anarchists may have bumped into her, she may have infected you guys. We tried to stay with the family of John T. Williams, but the anarchists kept flitting about to and fro.
I’M SO SORRY.
Check out this footage of police dressing up like anarchists to provocateur a peaceful protest in Montebello Quebec. Makes you wonder next time you see the mask donning idiots trying to incite a crowd.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=St1-WTc1kow
Light petting.
If an anarchist does something stupid and annoying, and nobody is around to roll their eyes, did it make a sound?
See, this is why Portlandia isn’t funny. It’s less amusing than reality.
@AJ: I knew I could blame this on the gays somehow. Or should I blame the injuns?
Next time maybe these “anarchists” should try shooting cops in the head instead.
“Police and the Prison World They Maintain”
lol
Better watch out for the real PPB (Purple Prose Bureau).
I assume since the cops now know who did this, they will send them a bill. Welcome to the capitalist prison state, kids!
If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.
I love that it is simply signed “Portland Anarchists.”
Somehow I get the feeling that if these kids managed to “defeat” capitalism, they wouldn’t be much better off under the next system either.
So ignoring people is an example of a Jedi mind trick? I don’t think so, Sgt Simpson.
Also, still no sign of the Portland Anarchists’ ™ pictures of a broken window?! Man, I was really expecting my mind to be blown by the pictures… this is disappointing.
As a Portland anarchist, I resent these people claiming responsibility on my behalf. I wish these people would put more energy into constructive actions.
Fuck you douchenozzles. You fuckers don’t want to fix anything, you just want to watch the culture you counter burn.