Election night used to be fun. I’d sit down with some pop corn and watch the votes roll in. Chuck Todd would be touching his touchy-touch board, NBC would be painting their Ice Rink Of Divisiveness, and people and holograms would finally be working together for the greater good.
It was fun! Knuckles were enwhitened, nails were bitten, and eventually, one team won and the other lost and everybody high-fived and said “good game.”
It’s way less fun to know a week out that Mitt Romney had a snowball’s chance in Mormon Hell Planet of winning. While I was relieved to know everything worked out in the end, I still felt like the kid who found his Christmas presents in his parents’ closet: I was smug for figuring it out, but bitter about having nothing to look forward to.
Nate Silver ruined ElectionChristmas for me by using his magic powers to tell America it’s future.
- Which one of these did we have to wait all day Tuesday to see and which one did the wizard create days ago?
On election night I was sitting in comedy club under a sports bar and I heard cheers coming from upstairs. “Surely,” I thought, “they must have finally read Silver’s column from last Friday.” But no! As the dimly lit bar echoed with chants of “Bronco Bama *clap clap clap clap clap*” I slowly realized this wasn’t feigned surprise. These ignorant wretches were genuinely excited to learn the outcome!
I envy those blissful party goers. They walk around oblivious to what the Election Oracle has preordained for all of us. But since I lack the self control to leave the presents in the closet (or the New York Times‘ blog un-refreshed), I think we must burn Nate Silver for witchcraft. He won’t be surprised. He predicted it months ago.
Math ruins everything.
So the point of this article is to point out that people make predictions about elections based on polling and probability using the same map of the US that the electoral college uses (which is the map of the US)? Amazing!
That’s what you got out of the article? Wow. It must be weird to look at the world and not see anything.
Let’s be honest: The article blew my mind. I’m envious of all the people in the sports bar above me right now whose minds remain unblown. I’m curious what will happen when I look at the world now that I’ve read it, seeing everything so vividly, as it is seen through your eyes.
The article also is a kind of digest of the hottest election-related jokes going around right now. Bronco! Witchcraft!
In my opinion, though, Alex missed an opportunity to throw in a “Romney in mom jeans” reference.
Nate Silver predicted he would miss such an opportunity weeks ago 🙁
Alex, I just want to say thanks for posting funny stuff. Blogtown’s been a little srs of late – “look at this stupid politician!” followed by intense/annoying/endless comments. I feel like there hasn’t been enough entertainment-related content, or hilarious videos, or contests where commenters can make up silly stuff. So it’s cool that there are some fresh funny people on board, like you and Ian. So, thanks!
That said, I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t interview anyone for this story.