British researcher Julijonas Urbonas has drawn up plans for a roller coaster that kills people—BUT only if you want to be killed, and in a very “elegant” fashion.
“Euthanasia Coaster” is a hypothetical euthanasia machine in the form of a roller coaster engineered to humanely — with elegance and euphoria — take the life of a human being. Riding the coaster’s track, the rider is subjected to a series of intensive motion elements that induce various unique experiences: from euphoria to thrill, and from tunnel vision to loss of consciousness, and, eventually, death.
(Hmmm… in other words, very similar to living with my ex-wife.) Anyway, this is obviously a fucking AWESOME idea, and I would ride it every day if it wouldn’t kill me. And isn’t it just perfect for “assisted suicide” happy Oregon? So obviously, we need one of these things, and we need it yesterday, which means….. POLL TIME!
We already have a tram up on the hill, I think this would be perfect for my vision of a theme park up there: ‘Hospitalland.’ We could use it to connect OHSU and the VA (or maybe the morgue).
How is it supposed to kill you? It doesn’t say. Either the g-forces turn your brain in to jelly and make your heart explode or there’s a carny with a revolver at the end of the ride. Maybe both! Who knows?
Needs to play “It’s A Small World (After All)” to ensure that you don’t change your mind about wanting to die halfway through the ride.
Didn’t they close Thrill Ville down anyway?