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REGISTER TO VOTE!—Aaaa! Today is the last day to register to vote for Oregon’s special January election! There are only two issues on the ballot, but they’re whoppers, hoping to patch the state budget by necessarily raising taxes on corporations and Oregon’s wealthiest individuals. Grab your ID and the registration form on the front of this week’s Mercury and race to the County Elections Office (or selected drop off points, also listed on our cover)! SM
Multnomah County Elections, 1040 SE Morrison, 8 am-5 pm

AUTHOR—Christopher Hitchens is grumpy, acerbic, and occasionally hilarious (but don’t tell him I said so—he famously wrote an essay in Vanity Fair about why women lack a sense of humor). Presumably tonight’s appearance at the Portland Arts and Lectures series will elevate the brows of all who attend. AH
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $32

My, What a Busy Week is coming! Look busy!

Bang bang, choo-choo train, let me see you shake that thang. Wm. Steven Humphrey is the editor-in-chief of the Portland Mercury and has held the job since 2000. (So don’t get any funny ideas.)